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The Raleigh News, NC Sunday, August 3, 2003 12:00AM EDT Delicate matter is often left to the family By RUTH SHEEHAN, Staff Writer Riding with Grandma in her later years was taking your life in your hands. I remember one time, I guess I was in high school, I went with her to fetch supplies for a party. The ride was less than a mile, but I seriously didn't think we would make it home. On one turn, the arc was so slow and so wide, I simply closed my eyes and said a prayer. For years, my mom and her sister had been trying to get Grandma to give up her driving privileges. But even as Parkinson's disease took control of her body, Grandma adamantly refused. For her, that Buick LeSabre was freedom, independence. It finally took Grandma literally driving her car through her garage door for the license to go away. I think about this sometimes as my own parents head toward their 80th birthdays this fall. My mom has always been a cautious driver. She enjoys tooling around town. But she is not big on driving too far, or too late at night. My dad, though, is another story. He is the king of the road trip. He has always enjoyed crisscrossing the country in the car. And even in his 70s, still in phenomenal shape physically, he has burned up the road on a route from Milwaukee to Florida, visiting my sister in Atlanta and us here in Raleigh on the way. All this, even though he suffers macular degeneration, a condition that "makes the telephone poles appear to tilt a little." No big deal, he told me. He adjusts. This is what worries me about the years ahead. You see, in Wisconsin, as in North Carolina, there are no special provisions for testing older drivers more frequently. So this past winter, my 79-year-old mother got her driver's license renewed -- for eight more years. "It's ridiculous," my very sensible mother said. It also leaves this delicate matter in the family's court. The N.C. Division of Motor Vehicles only calls for a retest if an older person is reported either by a health-care provider or a relative. And who wants to rat out Grandma -- or Mom, or Dad? (What if Mom and Dad live a thousand miles away?) I'm not sure what renewal provisions were in place when my grandmother's driving began to deteriorate. I can recall one time how stunned my parents were that she passed her exam; turns out it was written. In the ensuing years, I can only guess that my mom and her sister rationalized that Grandma drove so little, to church and the grocery store, that she wasn't much of a danger. The garage incident proved that wrong. Luckily, Grandma hurt neither herself nor anyone else. Even after her license had been revoked, my grandmother clung to the hope that one day she would climb behind the wheel again. So determined was she that she hired a driving instructor and spent a small fortune on lessons that even he tried to convince her would do no good. The state ultimately refused to grant her another license. I just wish she had been tested sooner. Columnist Ruth Sheehan can be reached at 829-4828 or [log in to unmask] SOURCE: The Raleigh News, NC http://newsobserver.com/news/story/2747111p-2546755c.html * * * ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn