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John I dont remember where you left off either but pass the brew and stay a while! Bob ----- Original Message ----- From: "John Bjork" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2003 9:20 AM Subject: Parkinsaw, MI Lives > Hello to one and all. Now, let's see where was I? Well, welcome to the > woods of Northern Michigan and to Parkinsaw. It's been too long no? New policy > up here. Like less is better. With our bilateral DBS a year and a half old > now, we're running smoother with more horsepower, although the aging parts > misfire occasionally. (Where am I going with these metaphors?) > > Anyway, it's lunch time up here in the brush and I believe I'll go on down to > the Northern Lights for a Levolager breweski and a brat. Beer. It's not just > for breakfast any more. > > John Bjork > > > The Parkinsaw Chronicle > Parkinsaw, MI > Sept 10, 03 > > He's baaaaaaak! > > Welcome back to Parkinsaw, MI, John, I said to myself. Well, what did you > expect, a parade of Parkinsaw perfumed pigs proudly portraying pretty piggy > posteriors? For Moi? you ask. Not by your local Piggly Wiggly store, Sinemet > breath. Well, then, can you explain the reason for the no-show for the last > year? No, suffice it to say that the Chronicle lives! I suppose I could say I > owe it all to my DBS operation. Nah. How about increased ingestion of Levolager > beer? No, can't say that either. Blame it on the Detroit Tiger's cruddy > play.(The Tigers, of course, are in danger of setting a new record for post-1900 > season losses by a major league baseball team, currently held by the New York > Mets for their record setting 120 losses during their 1962-63 season. The > terrible Tigs could could also have a pair of 20-game loosers in the pitching > department. ) Whatever. Anyhow, the format is the same for those of you already > familar with the Chronicle. For those who are new to this, this periodic > newsletter reports on events of interest to sufferers of Parkinsons Disease who > reside in the imaginary town of Parkinsaw, MI, in Michigan's scenic Upper > Perinsula. At times it might appear that the residents of Parkinsaw march to > the beat of a different drum; which, of course, is better than marching to no > drum at all. > > Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) Update. For those who have been on vacation to > the moon, with DBS your wily neurosurgeon thread wires through the skull and > into the capsula, with no tissue being destroyed. The wires, which remain > imbedded in the brain are connected to stimulators containing a battery pack in > the chest cavity which produce an adjustible, high frequency current that > magically improves symptoms of Parkinson's disease. Up here in Parkinsaw, several > patients have complained about receiving TV broadcasts over the implants. In > some cases, the complaints involved only getting WLUC TV from Marquette. Mel > Soderberg reports that he inadvertenly changed channels when his wife slapped > him along side the head. He was not holding the remote at the time. As > mentioned, yours truely went under the knife for a bilateral DBS operation last May > 02; everything came out splendidly and I'm a changed man fer sure. My head > looks like a mogul run but aside from that all symptoms are vastly improved, > particularly tremors. Of course, given my memory problems I can't really remember > what it was like before the operation so I have to rely on friends and > family. Another thing. Medtronics sent me a little plastic wallet card announcing > that my stimulators might cause the airport security scanners to give a false > reading, while the booklet that came with the stimulators warns that the > implanted devices might go to the 'off' position while going through the airport > x-ray security check point. Talk about a Gordian Knot: Just what I needed. My > Parkinson's Disease stimulators to malfunction just as I'm about ready to fly a > couple hours. Flying isn't stressful enough I guess. "Excuse me miss, would > y'all bring me six vodka tonics?" > > Jobs to Avoid. The Parkinsaw Employment Center has advised me that I should > not consider seeking employment as a Las Vegas Casino card dealer, snake > handler or cruise missile repair technician any time soon. After seeing a huge > pine snake on the links last week, I don't need to mess with snakes as a > vocation. Maybe I'll take a correspondence course on how to make money being a golf > ball restoration specialist. > > How to make your miserable life even more miserable. C'mon admit it. LIfe > can be pretty dreary for we Parkinsonians at times, what with this > debilitating, incurable, degenerative, progressive and thoroughly disgusting disease. But > wait. You can make yourself and the other people in your life even more > miserable. Here's how: You're going to a dinner party with your spouse an hour > away from home. You must be on time. Just as you pull into the driveway you > announce that you left your medications at home. Better still, you remember > to bring along a small pill vial which you assume has your proper medications > in it but you didn't check it before you left, and you don't check it now. No, > you wait until you're just finishing cocktails before you check. Then you say > "Honey, I...." > Next newsletter: How to use your disease to get out of house work and other > sneaky tricks. > > The Northern Lights microbrewery is still serving their famous Levolager > brewskies, which just go great with high-fat brats. Why is it that everything > tasty and good in life is bad for us. Anyway, there's going to be a polka party > down there this Saturday night featuring The Six Fat Neuros Band. A one, and > a two...... See you there. > > And now as the sun sinks slowly in the west over Lake Parkinsaw the deer will > be out soon into the brush foraging for food. Such lovely creatures, but > they are sure rough on the gardens. We leave you with this thought. Don't for a > minute let this nasty disease get you down. Don't let it rob you of God's > gift to you of your smile, laugh and sense of humor. Visit Sparkle and > Parkinsaw often. They're fun places to visit. > > John Bjork > The Parkinsaw Cronicle > www.mikeauldridge.com/parkinsn.htm > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn