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DELAWARE: Home Caregivers Face Tough Task As population ages, more people will give - or need - basic daily help By MIKE CHALMERS Staff reporter 04/12/2004 Bobbi Knotts and her sisters realized their elderly mother needed help four years ago when she began hiding her eyeglasses and towels around the house and then calling police to report the "theft." The behavior was a sign of growing dementia, and it meant that Knotts and her three sisters would join an estimated 130,000 Delawareans who are caring for an elderly or disabled adult. Now, their 86-year-old mother lives four months each with Knotts and two of her sisters, while the fourth sister takes care of her on occasional weekends. "It's a new world for all of us," said Knotts, of Dover. "But she took care of us, and by golly it's time that we take care of her." A new study by AARP, released last week, sheds light on the demanding work of unpaid caregivers in Delaware and the nation. The study and a companion survey on Delaware found 21 percent of adults nationwide and 22 percent of Delaware adults regularly help a relative or friend get out of bed in the morning, get dressed, make dinner or bathe. About two-thirds of those caregivers work full or part time, making their tasks at home something of a second job that requires juggling conflicting responsibilities, said Lisa Wolfe, spokeswoman for AARP Delaware. To cope, many go to work late or leave early, take a leave of absence or switch from a full-time to part-time job, the survey found. A few have quit their jobs. This is the first study focusing on Delaware caregivers, so previous years' figures are not available. But experts said the growth of the elderly population statewide and nationally means more people have become caregivers and the number will increase in the future. In Delaware, there were about 102,000 people age 65 and older in 2000, an increase of 26 percent over 1990, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Nationwide, the number of people age 65 and older increased about 12 percent, to about 35 million, during the same period. By 2020, the bureau expects 145,000 people in Delaware and 54.6 million people nationwide will be 65 or older, making them the fastest-growing age group. AARP, formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons, studied the issue to bring attention to caregivers' work and encourage others to begin thinking about the needs of their elderly parents or friends before they find themselves in a crisis, Wolfe said. "It's really not until you need the information that you go and look for it," she said. Delaware has good resources for people who need help caring for another adult, Wolfe said. About three years ago, the state began the CARE Delaware program - CARE stands for Caregiver Assistance-Respite-Education - to help caregivers find services, support groups and other information. Administrator Leah Jones said the program helps pay the salaries of four workers at five senior centers statewide to work one-on-one with caregivers. The program helped more than 400 caregivers last year, she said. "A lot of times they're distressed because they're overwhelmed," said Fran Smith, one of the workers and the executive director of the Bridgeville Senior Center in Sussex County. "It's a lot of work on a caregiver, and it's easy for them to get burned out." Sharing the responsibilities of caring for their mother has helped Knotts and her sisters, Kitty Nickerson and Margaret Jewell of Hartly, and Edna Conner of Clayton, largely avoid the bitterness and exhaustion that sometimes plague other caregivers, she said. "We all adjust to it, and not that we're patting ourselves on the back, but we do pretty well," Knotts said. Talking about the frustrations that come with the job is a good way to deal with them, said Geri Griffith, 64, of New Castle, who cares for her 69-year-old husband, Clarence "Griff" Griffith. He has a severe form of Parkinson's disease, so she must bathe, dress and feed him and attend to his toilet needs. She has taken out much of the furniture in their home because it interferes with his wheelchair, which he has trouble controlling. "I get so angry sometimes, like I don't want to do this anymore. God did not put 'nurse' on my back," said Griffith, who attends regular support-group meetings with other caregivers. "But the marriage vows say in sickness and in health. If I were sick, he'd be there to help me." A flexible employer has been key to helping Gene Truono care for his father and mother over the past three years. Truono, an attorney with J.P. Morgan Chase, moved in with his parents after his father suffered several strokes. He was able to work from home and go in late when necessary. Shortly after his father died two years ago, Truono's mother underwent heart-bypass surgery, so Truono stayed to help her recuperate. More employers are recognizing the needs of caregivers, said Barbara Vassos, elder-care team leader at the Family and Workplace Connection, a nonprofit group that helps companies and workers find child-care and adult-care services. Two years ago, the group launched a free public service that refers caregivers to resources near them. "People have to let their employer help them," Vassos said. "Usually there's a solution and they don't have to leave their job." Reach Mike Chalmers at 324-2790 or [log in to unmask] SOURCE: The News Journal, DE http://www.delawareonline.com/newsjournal/local/2004/04/12homecaregiversf.html * * * ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn