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Hospice Can Make A Difficult Situation Bearable Editor's Note: November is National Hospice Month. There are a number of hospices in the Parkland. This story profiles one family's experience with the not-for-profit HospiceCare, Inc. By DONNA HICKMAN\Daily Journal Staff Writer SOURCE: Park Hills Daily Journal, MO WWWeb: http://tinyurl.com/4r8cj Monday, November 22, 2004 They called him, "Mr. Terrific," because whenever you asked Darrell Green how he was, he would always, say, "terrific." "That's just the kind of guy he was -- always upbeat and positive," said his wife Kathryn. But it there was nothing "upbeat" about the diagnosis he received on Nov. 11, 2003. "He'd had six hours of surgery and the cancer was on his liver and just everywhere," said Kathryn. "The surgeon told us at the time of the surgery there was no hope for recovery," said Cindi Thurman, Green's daughter. And so, for months, the family took charge of caring for Darrell -- his wife, daughter Cindi and daughter Debbie Holt. They had a great deal of support from their church family and it was their pastor who first mentioned hospice. "I wanted it to be Darrell's decision," said Kathryn. "I didn't want him to think I'd given up because you know that's what the general public thinks when you call in hospice -- it's like 'this is it!'" Tammy Bracken knows that feeling well. She is Director of Public Relations, Fund Development and Volunteers for HospiceCare, Inc., the not-for-profit and spiritually based hospice the Greens called. "People think we're like the angel of death," said Bracken. "And it shouldn't be that way." Hospice is designed to help a terminally ill person and his family plan for the final phase of life and cope with the dying process. Sometimes, a patient may have hospice care for years before death. But the standard requirement for a person to receive hospice service is the diagnosis of a terminal illness that, if left to run its course, will likely result in death in six months or less. Darrell made the decision to call in hospice in late May and after that, Kathryn said he seemed to get better because he'd gotten over that hurdle. So had she. "It was a relief for Mom, I think, because it wasn't all up to her anymore," said Debbie. "When Dad had a fever and she wondered whether she should be concerned, she could check with hospice." A social worker met first with the Greens to lay out the plan. A chaplain would visit every Monday. A nurse would come by three times a week. "I had worried we would lose our privacy, but we didn't," said Kathryn. "It was like having an old-fashioned housecall." They say nurse Donna Spain brought a calming spirit to what for them was a very emotional time. "She was decisive and we needed that," said Debbie. "Dad asked her if she could make sure he was not in pain and she told him she could. She kept that promise." Bracken explained the goal in hospice care is to keep the patient free from pain, but as coherent as possible. The family would keep the nurse informed about what was happening with Darrell. She would reassure them. "I'll never forget when Dad couldn't talk to us and his blood pressure was high, we called her at 3 a.m.," said Cindi. "Donna said very calmly, 'your dad is telling us he's uncomfortable' and she told me what to do. She could make our father comfortable when we couldn't and that was priceless. Another quality I liked was her empathy -- she cried with us." And Donna developed a genuine like for Darrell that the family noticed and appreciated as his illness worsened. On Oct. 12, when it seemed likely Darrell would not live much longer, Donna arranged to stay with the Greens long beyond her usual visit. In the early hours of Oct. 13, he died with Donna at the foot of the bed as Kathryn read his favorite scripture aloud, Psalm 139. His daughters were on either side of him. "He was at home with people who loved him," said Kathryn of the husband she married when she was 16 years old. "We had a wonderful 47 years together. Hospice helped us give him the death he would have wanted." A month later, the family sat at a Farmington restaurant talking over their hospice experience with Tammy Bracken. They spoke with appreciation for what they considered to be care that went beyond what they'd expected. "We think of hospice as being up to the point of death, but after Daddy died, Donna was still helping us by calling the funeral home, taking the medications away and cleaning up his room," said Debbie. "She called for the oxygen tank to be removed and the hospital bed. I hadn't thought about all of that." She was carrying out Kathryn Green's wishes. For a year after his death, HospiceCare will continue to care for the family Darrell Green left behind through bereavement care that includes support groups. Kathryn has already pledged to become a HospiceCare volunteer. "Our volunteers are an important part of HospiceCare," Bracken explained. "Some duties a volunteer might perform would be to keep the patient company by just sitting with them, reading to them or listening to their concerns. They might run errands like picking up medical supplies or groceries or help provide support to the patient and other family members." To find out more about volunteering, contact Debbie Thomas at 431- 0162 or 1-800-876-0162. HospiceCare, Inc., located on the campus of Mineral Area College, is the oldest and only not-for-profit hospice in the area. Most insurance pays for hospice care, but because the agency is not-for-profit, no one is turned away because of his inability to pay. Even residents in a nursing home can have hospice services. Hospice serves people with all kinds of life-threatening illnesses like cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and congestive heart failure. Based on current trends, it's projected more than one million U.S. patients will receive hospice this year. For more information, visit http://www.hospiceinfo.org or call NHPCO's national helpline at 1-800-658-8898. "I cannot imagine going through the death process without hospice," said Cindi. "They made a terrible situation bearable." SOURCE: Park Hills Daily Journal, MO WWWeb: http://tinyurl.com/4r8cj * * * Murray Charters <[log in to unmask]> Please place this address in your address book Please purge all others Web site: Parkinsons Resources on the WWWeb http://www.geocities.com/murraycharters ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn