I used to complain a lot. I guess I still do. I used to have a roommate who would tell me, "Just be happy in your work." Well, fine, but now I'm facing a future where my chosen work will not be possible. Or will it? I have spent my adult life as a piano player, and my skills will probably continue to erode. If I can no longer play, the one thing that has brought me joy, as well as income, how can I find joy? By staying in music. I have an aesthetic which is valid. Why can I not express it by using studio recording methods, or by using software as a tool for notating my compositions? I can also help my son, also a musician, by being his studio engineer and mentor. Sure, I've lost, and will continue to lose, but I still thank my lucky stars that I don't have a host of other conditions that I see as worse than my PD. And even if I can't be the 'star of the show', maybe I can even have more influence behind the scenes. I also have a really good life, and a wonderful, beautiful family, and I rejoice in them every day. I have been receiving lots of fine advice from some people on the listserv, and what it boils down to is that I should do a lot of research on PD, find something that I can do to provide income and fulfillment, and not fret about what I can't do anymore. I know that if my favorite athletes can start over after they retire, then so can I. I figure I have to be smarter than at least half the pro athletes in the world. Some of them do well, and some of them don't. What's the difference? Attitude. Attitude is also the key factor in a sales career, or any other endeavor. I have also received advice from someone who does not have PD, but has plenty of problems resulting from an accident and many surgeries. His road has been a tough one, and he will suffer permanent loss of some ability. The minute I mentioned to him that I had PD, I got a lecture about not feeling sorry for myself, not for one minute. I thought, well, this guy is ten times worse off than I am now. How many years do I have before I get as bad as he is now? And when I get that bad, he has shown me that I can fight on and on, if I have the strength of will. I have resolved to keep plugging, not give up, to hang around if only just to be a pain in the ass. I have a lot of admiration for people like yourselves, who have come through hell and still have the same determination, that if life is going to try to take you down, you're going to fight to the last, and make as much of a mark as you can, either in public, or in the family, or wherever. Face the worst with courage, and you will be remembered. Face the worst with humor, and you will be looked up to, especially if you're really tall, like me. Anyway, today I will settle for my situation over that of the average residents of coastal areas of Sri Lanka. Thanking my lucky stars. Enjoy! Rick McGirr Email: [log in to unmask] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn