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Ray: We have a lot in common! Your family sounds a lot like mine, only reverse father (talkative and argumentative) with Mother (stopped talking). I too was shy and quiet until I became a teacher (hard for anyone to imagine now) but often participated in lively "debates" with my father, sister and brothers. The UCLA instructor did have a valid point - lowering your expectations is one way to avoid disappointment. The other way, as you point out, is to keep fighting. Believe me, I am a fighter. The difference is the perspective on HOW to fight. I believe the point will be won through providing education without playing the blame game, which only shuts down effective communication. Wendy -----Original Message----- From: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of rayilynlee Sent: Sunday, April 24, 2005 12:22 PM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: Becoming my mother/Wendy Wendy My mother always had to fill the void if no one talked. In fact in my family, you had to butt in to be heard, a very rude practice. My dad really fixed her, in their later years he refused to talk at all. As a young person I was very shy and afraid to speak. Teaching changed all that. However, I may be "becoming my mother" filling those voids. "nobody says anything" sounds just like her. Her father, the one with PD,used to argue just for the sake of argument and he and I used to do it all the time. He made me so mad but I enjoyed it and did it anyway. The question of nature and nurture is an interesting one. Back in the 70's or 80's there was a psychologist or psychiatrist who was run out of town at UCLA/Westwood for teaching a course where his theory or plan for better coping with life was lowering one's expectations. He taught that if you expected less you wouldn't be so disappointed. Although I believe he had a valid point, I think we do live in a culture and time of "a revolution of rising expectations". It's just not politically correct to be negative no matter what, of this I am positive. Kind of like that Monty Python movie where the knight keeps fighting even though all his limbs are cut off. Ray ----- Original Message ----- From: "Wenwolf" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 10:39 AM Subject: Re: a few more ideas > Ray: > That's something no one can accuse either of us of, eh? :) > I think that letting people know what is on your mind is so much better > than holding it in until you have a meltdown. > > Wendy > > -----Original Message----- > ... Most people just don't say >> anything >> and their senses of humor are pretty lame. >> Ray > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: > mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn