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Rick, I think it is only natural to think "it can't happen to me" when it is only a breath away. Even when you're well and try to have compassion it is difficult to really understand. Unfortunately I am not one of those people who is ennobled by suffering.or who feels my life has been blessed by disease. I think we also have the added burden of making others feel comfortable around us. I know my cousin's son who had cystic fibrosis did that and his whole life was spent trying to stay alive. Whenever I go "out" I try to explain about it, especially the brain surgery, which astounds people. This story will be on CNN.com in London soon and I will post when and website.My rant for the day.Ray ----- Original Message ----- From: "Rick McGirr" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Thursday, November 03, 2005 9:38 AM Subject: Re: PD/artistic ability/All/Rick > Kathleen, thank you very much for your words of support. After all, > yes I could complain. We all could. I have this list and my shrink > for that. But every day I am reminded of all the people who love me > and are pulling for me, and of all the relative material wealth I > have. No, not rich, but I live in a roomy house, etc. I have skills. > I have a good credit score. I have options. > > I remember before PD, I was at the store and there was this old guy > who obviously had something like PD. His hand was wagging like a > tail, and he was having difficulty, moving slowly. I remember the > pity and the revulsion that I felt, and the fervent wish, not granted, > that I would avoid such a maddening and frustrating state. Well, now > that I'm inside it, I don't want people to feel that way about me. I > just want people to interact with me normally, to ignore my problems > and not treat me like a freak, not ostracize me, nor to defer to my > difficulty or pamper me. If I knew then what I know now, I might have > at least said 'howdy' to that guy. In the Buffalo vernacular that > would read 'haya doo-un'. But I remember, when I was younger, not > wanting anything to do with people who weren't 'cool', wanting to move > fast and not be burdened or slowed down or to have to even think about > disabilities and people afflicted with them. Seems like ages ago > already. Image is much more important to the young. Now I couldn't > care less how people judge me in a social context, because I now know > that that stuff is very superficial. My concern remains that as a > person who is often on a stage somewhere, that my colleagues on stage > will shun me for considerations of image. Def Leopard tried to stick > with their drummer after he lost his arm in a car crash. Fickle fans > wouldn't go for it. I must say that having PD has opened my eyes to > the fact that there are real people inside these malfunctioning > bodies, with invaluable stories to tell. I see people differently > now. The healthy ones don't appreciate how fragile their image and > their independence are, nor do they realize the depth and breadth that > still glows in the hearts of the afflicted. Adversity does enrich > your outlook. > > So that's my rant for today. Thanks again. > > Enjoy Fall! > Rick McGirr > Email: [log in to unmask] > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Kathleen Cochran" <[log in to unmask]> > To: <[log in to unmask]> > Sent: Wednesday, November 02, 2005 8:42 AM > Subject: Re: PD/artistic ability/All/Rick > > >> Rick, >> >> I haven't been talking much on the list lately because I, like you, >> am scurrying to earn while I can. Your remark below about people >> feeling uncomfortable with your wobbliness caught my eye. >> >> I have mostly stopped worrying about whether people notice my >> trermor or not. Strangers' level of comfort with my condition is not >> my concern. It does help, if I'm with people I know or work with, to >> tell them I have PD. Then they know what's going on, and I don't >> have to wonder what they're wondering. >> >> I like to think that one day PD will go the way of polio. Someone >> will luck out, the break will come, and it'll be over. >> >> Sooner rather than later would be good.... In the meantime, hang in. >> Sounds like you're doing very, very well. >> >> Kathleen >> >> -----Original Message----- >> From: Rick McGirr <[log in to unmask]> >> To: [log in to unmask] >> Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 07:51:36 -0500 >> Subject: Re: PD/artistic ability/All/Rick >> >> Them's the breaks. I'm alright. Can't lay down and take it. Gotta >> fight. Gotta keep going. Gotta have faith. We'll win out. Something >> good'll happen. You wait n see. OK? >> Rick ----- Original Message ----- >> From: "rayilynlee" <[log in to unmask]> To: >> <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Wednesday, October 26, 2005 >> 10:52 PM Subject: Re: PD/artistic ability/All/Rick >> > Rick, here I was bemoaning the loss of a hobby, not a profession. >> > Well, I can't teach any more either, but it really brings home to >> > me the outrage of the wait for help from Singapore or South Korea. >> > I "dance" on the treadmill but it is getting kind of pitiful. I >> > was 60 when I got PD, you are way too young to have it. It just >> > breaks my heart. ((((Rick)))) from Ray ----- Original >> > Message ----- >> > From: "Rick McGirr" <[log in to unmask]> To: >> > <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Tuesday, October 25, 2005 >> > 6:10 AM Subject: Re: PD/artistic ability/All >> >>I think if I was a major league ball player, I wouldn't be one of >> >>the noble greats who leave the game before they have to. I would >> >>play until I couldn't make a team, just for the love of the game. >> >>What do you mean? No, the $3 million a year has nothing to do with >> >>it! Actually, Scott, the thing that's getting me down a bit right >> >>now is the fact that I have so many commitments, most having to do >> >>with bringing in a few bucks, that I can't work on my playing the >> >>way I need to. I can still get through a rock or blues gig fine. >> >>Most of that stuff is 'flash and trash', as my college prof used >> >>to say. 'But I like it, like it, yes I do!' I feel like I still >> >>have some years left before I can't fake it anymore. I find that >> >>the individual identity of each finger is what's diminishing, ever >> >>so slowly. But I still have the 'groove', and if you have that, >> >>you can rock til you're blue in the mouth. But actually, there's a >> >>bigger fear than playing wrong notes in public (like that's never >> >>happened before). I think about being a spectacle off stage. If I >> >>had to hang around numerous venues between sets and waddle and >> >>wobble and wiggle, which I do a little bit now, it would be hard >> >>for people and me to feel comfortable with it. (Hey! This could be >> >>a way to get people to move my gear for me!) This would lead to me >> >>explaining myself and PD quite a bit, which wouldn't be the worst >> >>thing politically, but the bar owner might look a bit perturbed >> >>(like that's never happened before). Once it gets back to the >> >>booking agent, then you have a problem, 'cause word, like rot, >> >>would spread around town fast, and then the phone stops ringing >> >>and you're done. I have a bunch of piano students, and pretty soon >> >>I'm going to have to tell them why my arm shakes during lessons. >> >>I'll have to start sitting behind them while they play, instead of >> >>beside them. I short, I may be going down, but I'm going to take >> >>as many of them with me as I can. And afterwards, my son can >> >>entertain me. We have similar, broad tastes, (Hey, get your mind >> >>out of the gutter!) and he's recently done his first few >> >>decent-paying gigs with a band. I am blessed with a wonderful wife >> >>and family, so I'm sure I'll be fine, whatever happens to me >> >>professionally. I also think of my mom, a painter, who had her >> >>abilities taken away by a stroke a few years back. She's in a home >> >>now, and they've been trying to encourage her to try some >> >>sketching with her left (non-dominant) hand, and she's been doing >> >>a bit. Such a struggle for her. I got it great in comparison. >> >>Enjoy Fall! Rick McGirr Email: [log in to unmask] ----- >> >>Original Message ----- >> >> From: "Scott E. Antes" <[log in to unmask]> To: >> >> <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 >> >> 1:42 PM Subject: Re: PD/artistic ability/All >> >>> Hi Ray and Rick and All. Out of town over the weekend, and saw >> >>> this message first. I, too, would like to know if more of our >> >>> list members are musical/artistic--or if anyone knows of PD >> >>> people who are artistic. Laureen (my wife) doesn't really talk >> >>> about not playing piano/organ any more. It's only been few >> >>> months since she stopped--and she stopped when she felt (not >> >>> anyone else)her abilites were going downhill. Scott >> >>>>===== Original Message From "Parkinson's Information Exchange >> >>>>Network" >> >>> <[log in to unmask]> ===== >> >>>>Scott, interesting idea. Well we have Rick, our hip, humorous >> >>>>musician. Some people thought I played a pretty mean piano, but >> >>>>I knew enough about music to know I didn't know anything. Have >> >>>>small hands and was too lazy to practice too. Years ago my >> >>>>musician teacher of 3 months asked me to "sit in for him" at an >> >>>>almost empty piano bar. I froze with fear. Does it bother your >> >>>>wife like it does me that she can't play any more? PD is such an >> >>>>awful thief. Also could paint copies of great art, but nothing >> >>>>original. I wonder who else on our List has/had artistic >> >>>>abilities. Ray >> >>> >> >>> Scott E. Antes Department of Anthropology Northern Arizona >> >>> University Flagstaff, AZ 86011-5200 >> >>> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> >>> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> >>> mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message >> >>> put: signoff parkinsn >> >> >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> >> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> >> mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message >> >> put: signoff parkinsn >> > >> > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> > mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message >> > put: signoff parkinsn >> > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> > mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message >> > put: signoff parkinsn >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: >> signoff parkinsn >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> mailto:[log in to unmask] >> In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: > mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn