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Hi Kathleen, Since I cannot make my friend do anything he doesn't want to do, that includes his being assessed by anyone. Although I do feel a certain amount off responsibility, my greatest fear is going over to his house after he has followed through on his threats and finding his body. That fear has made my visits nerve wracking - I find myself holding my breath when I open his door and then breathing a sigh of relief when I see he is still sitting in his chair. Unfortunately, I also find myself skipping some of the days when I should be going over to help.....I simply don't want to be the one to find him dead. I also think that by skipping days, I may be driving him closer to his doing harm to himself. It has become a very real catch-22. Sami -------Original Message------- From: Kathleen Cochran Date: 8/22/2009 11:00:28 PM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: a thought Dear Sami, Mary Ann is right. it is very important that your friend be assessed for depression and treated if necessary. I am concerned about your welfare. Your kindness is touching and admirable and your friend is lucky to have you. However, I see a risk for you. If your friend should again attempt or even complete suicide, you might feel a sense of responsibility and your own mental health could be in jeopardy. I wish I had some brilliant suggestions for you, but I don't. I can only say that if I were in your shoes I think I would contact a social services agency to seek professional guidance on dealing with this difficult situation. Good luck, Kathleen 2009/8/21 Sami <[log in to unmask]> > Hi Mary Ann, > > I'm sure it was included in the tests he started. Unfortunately, he > thought > he knew more than his physicians and has refused to go to any doctor > whatsoever since before I began helping him. He now is convinced he is > turning to stone and other than listening to him and doing his errands, I > have given up making suggestions since he then turns away from me too. > > Sami > > > Sami, one of the first signs of PD is depression. I'm wondering if your > friend is being treated for the disorder? > -------- > Mary Ann > www.bentwillowfarm.org > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "Sami" <[log in to unmask]> > To: <[log in to unmask]> > Sent: Monday, August 17, 2009 4:39 AM > Subject: Re: a thought > > Moneesha, > > The Christopher H. Brewer beatitudes blew me away and brought me to tears. > May I borrow this e-mail so I can take it to a friend who cannot see the > positive side not only of his illness but life itself? This has caused him > to attempt suicide twice. I have only known him since October 2008. My goal > has been to give him 'goals' to reach. We made it past Halloween; then > Thanksgiving; Christmas; the NewYear; Valentine's Day; my birthday etc > etc > His negativity has been wearing me down and I hadn't realized I have been > losing my 'empathy and compassion' until I read your e-mail to Dr. Chew. I > have to stop dragging myself to his house....and go with a happy smile; I > have to drive him around town....and stop thinking about what else I could > be doing; I have to cut his hair.....and quit griping to myself because he > s embarrassed to have his ex-barber see him now. There are many other > things I could add, but I think you get the idea. At first I thought he > could use the beatitudes but then, after reading it many times, I came to > the realization that I was the one who needed them back! > > > > Sami > > > > -------Original Message------- > > > > From: Moneesha Sharma > Date: 8/15/2009 11:25:16 PM > To: [log in to unmask] > > Subject: Re: a thought > > Dear Dr. Chew, > > How right you are about education, but what is also needed is empathy and > Compassion. I am posting here something that was posted by a fellow CG on > CARE. His wife, who is a PD patient now fairly advanced, had saved it on > Their computer. I think you might find it useful - > > > Blessed are you that never bids us "hurry up" and more blessed are you that > Do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need > Time rather than help. > > > Blessed are you who take time to listen to defective speech, for you help > us > > To know that if we persevere, we can be understood. > > > Blessed are you who walk with us in public places and ignore the stares of > Strangers, for in your companionship we find havens of relaxation. > > > Blessed are you who stand beside us as we enter new ventures, for our > Failures will be outweighed by times we surprise ourselves and you. > > > Blessed are you who ask for our help, for our greatest need is to be needed > > > Blessed are you when by all these things you assure us that the thing that > Makes us individuals is not our peculiar muscles, nor our wounded nervous > System, but the God-given self that no infirmity can confine. > > > Blessed are those who realize that I am human and don't expect me to be > Saintly just because I am disabled. > > > Blessed are those who understand that sometimes I am weak and not just lazy > > > Blessed are those who pick things up without being asked. > > > Blessed are those who forget my disability of the body and see me as a > whole > > Person, unique and complete, and not as "half" and one of God's mistakes. > > > Blessed are those who love me just as I am without wondering what I might > Have been like. > > > Blessed are my friends on whom I depend, for they are the substance and joy > Of my life!!!! > > "A true handicap is what we don't do with what we have, not what we can't > do > > With what we don't have." > > Christopher H. Brewer > > > > All the best in the wonderful work you are doing. > > Moneesha > > This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from > http://www > papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm-------Original Message------- > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto: > [log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ____________________________________________________________ No virus found in this incoming message. 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