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I like your idea, Kathleen. I can actually feel that knot in my stomach go away and it's much better than the way I've been doing it. I've been calling on the day I DON'T go over. I don't know why I never thought about doing it differently but I'll definitely try it since I have to cut his hair tomorrow afternoon. That is definitely a sigh of relief you're hearing. I have talked to a social service worker but was told she couldn't give me any advice unless my friend came in for an evaluation - which, of course he won't do. I can understand their position since they probably have guidelines they have to follow, and in the long run, their jobs could be on the line. Sami -------Original Message------- From: Kathleen Cochran Date: 8/25/2009 11:00:43 PM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: a thought Sami, Yikes. That does sound really scary. I wasn't thinking of social services professionals in terms of assessing him...rather, I thought they might have some suggestions for you in managing this difficult situation. I wonder: could you set up a routine where you phone him before going over? That would at least relieve the anxiety over whether you'll find him alive. Kathleen 2009/8/24 Sami <[log in to unmask]> > Hi Kathleen, > > Since I cannot make my friend do anything he doesn't want to do, that > includes his being assessed by anyone. Although I do feel a certain amount > off responsibility, my greatest fear is going over to his house after he > has > followed through on his threats and finding his body. That fear has made > my > visits nerve wracking - I find myself holding my breath when I open his > door > and then breathing a sigh of relief when I see he is still sitting in his > chair. Unfortunately, I also find myself skipping some of the days when I > should be going over to help.....I simply don't want to be the one to find > him dead. I also think that by skipping days, I may be driving him closer > to his doing harm to himself. It has become a very real catch-22. > > Sami > > -------Original Message------- > > From: Kathleen Cochran > Date: 8/22/2009 11:00:28 PM > To: [log in to unmask] > Subject: Re: a thought > > Dear Sami, > > Mary Ann is right. it is very important that your friend be assessed for > depression and treated if necessary. > > I am concerned about your welfare. Your kindness is touching and admirable > and your friend is lucky to have you. However, I see a risk for you. If > your > > friend should again attempt or even complete suicide, you might feel a > sense > of responsibility and your own mental health could be in jeopardy. > > I wish I had some brilliant suggestions for you, but I don't. I can only > say > that if I were in your shoes I think I would contact a social services > agency to seek professional guidance on dealing with this difficult > situation. > > Good luck, > > Kathleen > > 2009/8/21 Sami <[log in to unmask]> > > > Hi Mary Ann, > > > > I'm sure it was included in the tests he started. Unfortunately, he > > thought > > he knew more than his physicians and has refused to go to any doctor > > whatsoever since before I began helping him. He now is convinced he is > > turning to stone and other than listening to him and doing his errands, I > > have given up making suggestions since he then turns away from me too. > > > > Sami > > > > > > Sami, one of the first signs of PD is depression. I'm wondering if your > > friend is being treated for the disorder? > > -------- > > Mary Ann > > www.bentwillowfarm.org > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > > > From: "Sami" <[log in to unmask]> > > To: <[log in to unmask]> > > Sent: Monday, August 17, 2009 4:39 AM > > Subject: Re: a thought > > > > Moneesha, > > > > The Christopher H. Brewer beatitudes blew me away and brought me to > tears. > > May I borrow this e-mail so I can take it to a friend who cannot see the > > positive side not only of his illness but life itself? This has caused > him > > to attempt suicide twice. I have only known him since October 2008. My > goal > > has been to give him 'goals' to reach. We made it past Halloween; then > > Thanksgiving; Christmas; the NewYear; Valentine's Day; my birthday etc > > etc > > His negativity has been wearing me down and I hadn't realized I have been > > losing my 'empathy and compassion' until I read your e-mail to Dr. Chew > I > > have to stop dragging myself to his house....and go with a happy smile; > I > > have to drive him around town....and stop thinking about what else I > could > > be doing; I have to cut his hair.....and quit griping to myself because > he > > s embarrassed to have his ex-barber see him now. There are many other > > things I could add, but I think you get the idea. At first I thought he > > could use the beatitudes but then, after reading it many times, I came to > > the realization that I was the one who needed them back! > > > > > > > > Sami > > > > > > > > -------Original Message------- > > > > > > > > From: Moneesha Sharma > > Date: 8/15/2009 11:25:16 PM > > To: [log in to unmask] > > > > Subject: Re: a thought > > > > Dear Dr. Chew, > > > > How right you are about education, but what is also needed is empathy and > > Compassion. I am posting here something that was posted by a fellow CG > on > > CARE. His wife, who is a PD patient now fairly advanced, had saved it on > > Their computer. I think you might find it useful - > > > > > > Blessed are you that never bids us "hurry up" and more blessed are you > that > > Do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we > need > > Time rather than help. > > > > > > Blessed are you who take time to listen to defective speech, for you help > > us > > > > To know that if we persevere, we can be understood. > > > > > > Blessed are you who walk with us in public places and ignore the stares > of > > Strangers, for in your companionship we find havens of relaxation. > > > > > > Blessed are you who stand beside us as we enter new ventures, for our > > Failures will be outweighed by times we surprise ourselves and you. > > > > > > Blessed are you who ask for our help, for our greatest need is to be > needed > > > > > > Blessed are you when by all these things you assure us that the thing > that > > Makes us individuals is not our peculiar muscles, nor our wounded nervous > > System, but the God-given self that no infirmity can confine. > > > > > > Blessed are those who realize that I am human and don't expect me to be > > Saintly just because I am disabled. > > > > > > Blessed are those who understand that sometimes I am weak and not just > lazy > > > > > > Blessed are those who pick things up without being asked. > > > > > > Blessed are those who forget my disability of the body and see me as a > > whole > > > > Person, unique and complete, and not as "half" and one of God's mistakes > > > > > > Blessed are those who love me just as I am without wondering what I might > > Have been like. > > > > > > Blessed are my friends on whom I depend, for they are the substance and > joy > > Of my life!!!! > > > > "A true handicap is what we don't do with what we have, not what we can t > > do > > > > With what we don't have." > > > > Christopher H. Brewer > > > > > > > > All the best in the wonderful work you are doing. > > > > Moneesha > > > > This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from > > http://www > > papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm-------Original Message------- > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto: > > [log in to unmask] > > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto: > [log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > > ____________________________________________________________ > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.5.392 / Virus Database: 270.13.64/2320 - Release Date: 08/22/09 > 18:04:00 > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto: > [log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ____________________________________________________________ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.409 / Virus Database: 270.13.67/2326 - Release Date: 08/25/09 18:07:00 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn