Ray, I am really sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your caregiver. The trouble with help - and we in India know about this because help around the home is commonplace here - often is that what one does for them out of consideration soon begins to be taken as a right and the next thing you know, these boundaries are being stretched (in fact, I am experiencing this right now with our help!). The thing that one has to remember as an employer is that this is a professional relationship and it needs to be kept that way. One tends to feel a little bad and do the ordinary human thing of being kind, but here at least kindness is perceived as weakness and taken advantage of. I think NK is right - you need to ask her what is bothering her. And in that discussion, you need to re-state your requirements and needs. She may not be smart or sophisticated, but she will understand that her part of the bargain is that she has to do the caregiving *you* need, not what she thinks she wants to do. This is what you need to make clear to her. All the best, and do keep us posted. Moneesha ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn