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my suggestion is you get the book : MAKING THE GOLDEN YEARS GOLDEN, BY EVA MOR She outlines several suggestions about caregivers and one of the biggest challenges of finding and keeping one. She suggests you switch them out. I know this is scary, alot of work, and training, but Eva says there is a burn out on caregiving. It makes sense, as your caregiver has had the same routine for 5 years with you. Maybe more work, with less money. I don't know, at times i think caregiving is a thankless job. Unless you have Parkinson's, you can't feel what the patient is feeling, only notice how it affects them daily. Sort your dirty clothes for her. Label each basket on how you want them washed, with directions. Add a sign to the dryer, asking sorted clothes not be dryed together. Maybe she just doesn't remember how you want things washed and dryed... Maybe she is thinking about all the other things in her life she needs to do, while taking care of you. trying to be helpful, patti cg 16 On Dec 26, 2009, at 8:47 PM, rayilynlee wrote: > Hi NK and fellow Parkies and CGs: > > I've had company the last few days and unable to do computer work. > I'm completely worn out. > > I'm also having problems with my "caregiver". For sometime now she > has been very annoyed and angry with me for my voice problems. > Because I am not screaming bloody murder she assumes PD is like > getting old. If I raise my voice she reacts like I am angry with > her even though I have explained that I "strangle" when I try to > speak. I typed her a message on the computer this week. The > trouble is she is not a very smart or sophisticated person and is > not going to change. She will never understand Parkinson's. > > I'm putting this message on the PIEN in an effort to get advice from > everyone. > > There are other problems too (last Christmas she threw out my > mothers ashes), the destruction of my clothes with lint, wrinkles, > putting white and dark colors together is reaching a critical mass > and she denies any responsibility and she told me I should buy > different kinds of clothes. She left me for over an hour at the > manicurist while she ate lunch last week. I don't mind her always > eating on the job, but this was too much. She never answered her > phone when the proprietors called her several times. > > She lives with her daughter, son-in-law and is part-time babysitter > for their 3 young children. They both work for Southwest Airlines > and she never knows what day she will work for me. She has a hectic > life and I try to accommodate her. I store her things in my extra > closets for her. > > Any suggestions would be appreciated. She has good qualities and it > is not easy to find someone. She has worked for me for 5 > years. In the beginning I made a list of chores and left her > alone. > > These problems have grown - as my PD has gotten worse. the clothes > thing happened a few at a time. eating on job has increased - she > used to take me out to eat and I bought her meals. not answering > her phone is a few instances at a time. Not wanting to make a big > deal out of little things, they have accumulated. > > Ray > > Rayilyn Brown > Director AZNPF > Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation > [log in to unmask] > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn