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simple - Fire her. IF some one is not doing their job, then it is like having noone. I am a patient. I have had care for over 15 years My son always asked me when I complained about an aide. ' Are they doing the job or not?' If they are not , then u fire them and hire someone who can. ' Last time I checked unemployment was pretty high compared to 5 years ago. Call to see if ur community has a senior van. I have been taking mine since I was 36 yrs. old. Their . funding is from the dept. of aged and disabled. Nancy M Kathryn Temple wrote: > Dear Rayilyn, > > I'm so sorry, but my experience is that when you get to this point, > you have to move on and find a new person. I know it's really hard to > find somebody. > > I've had a lot of help over the years, first when my husband had > terminal cancer and then for the past three and a half years to help > me with my daughter and the house since I have a really demanding job. > And my father who has PD is in care with numerous caregivers. > > A trusted friend tells me that these relationships have a life-cycle > and that the relationship kind of "wears out" after a while and this > makes sense to me. Also, in managing people at work I have found that > letting them take advantage and continue on while they are not > performing is psychologically damaging to them as well as to the > manager, better to let them go find another job after a few attempts > to work with them. > > What worries me here is the abuse potential. This person is not > listening to you or treating you with respect and you are vulnerable > (less vulnerable than some because you have friends and are the > Director of your chapter, so have support, but still vulnerable). > > On a very prosaic note, that business with the laundry worries me > because it means she's not cleaning the lint traps and is overloading > the machines, both risks of fire. After a few rounds with my cleaning > lady over the same thing, I have prohibited her from doing any of my > laundry. > > As far as letting your person go, I've found it better to be very > pragmatic and not get into details. You just tell the person (or > better yet have a relative or other person tell them) that the > schedule isn't working out and you've found someone else who is a > better fit. You'll need help especially if she has keys and access to > your house. People with this mentality can get angry and then justify > various sorts of "revenge." Once was sharing a nanny with another > family. Had to let her go after about two months because she wasn't > showing up for work (which meant that neither of us could get to > work). Her final act was to turn on all the water in the house and > stop up the drains while the other family was at work. > > There are good caregivers out there and certainly better than what > you're describing. My grandmother had one, for instance, and even my > cleaning lady with all her issues (she has grown old working for me so > despite the issues I won't let her go) would be better. > > Good luck, it's almost a new year, a good time to make a change. > > Kathy > > > > rayilynlee wrote: >> Hi NK and fellow Parkies and CGs: >> >> I've had company the last few days and unable to do computer work. >> I'm completely worn out. >> I'm also having problems with my "caregiver". For sometime now she >> has been very annoyed and angry with me for my voice problems. >> Because I am not screaming bloody murder she assumes PD is like >> getting old. If I raise my voice she reacts like I am angry with >> her even though I have explained that I "strangle" when I try to >> speak. I typed her a message on the computer this week. The >> trouble is she is not a very smart or sophisticated person and is not >> going to change. She will never understand Parkinson's. >> >> I'm putting this message on the PIEN in an effort to get advice from >> everyone. >> >> There are other problems too (last Christmas she threw out my mothers >> ashes), the destruction of my clothes with lint, wrinkles, putting >> white and dark colors together is reaching a critical mass and she >> denies any responsibility and she told me I should buy different >> kinds of clothes. She left me for over an hour at the manicurist >> while she ate lunch last week. I don't mind her always eating on the >> job, but this was too much. She never answered her phone when the >> proprietors called her several times. >> >> She lives with her daughter, son-in-law and is part-time babysitter >> for their 3 young children. They both work for Southwest Airlines >> and she never knows what day she will work for me. She has a hectic >> life and I try to accommodate her. I store her things in my extra >> closets for her. >> >> Any suggestions would be appreciated. She has good qualities and it >> is not easy to find someone. She has worked for me for 5 years. >> In the beginning I made a list of chores and left her alone. >> These problems have grown - as my PD has gotten worse. the clothes >> thing happened a few at a time. eating on job has increased - she >> used to take me out to eat and I bought her meals. not answering >> her phone is a few instances at a time. Not wanting to make a big >> deal out of little things, they have accumulated. >> >> Ray >> >> Rayilyn Brown >> Director AZNPF >> Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation >> [log in to unmask] >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> mailto:[log in to unmask] >> In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn >> > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: > mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn