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Abusive and taking advantage of you... it sounds like it's time to consider another caregiver. I can't imagine you doing this alone, you are incredible! If you have someone you can trust, ask them to help you sort thru this. Google and Go to your state's dept of aging and find agencies in your area and see how they are rated... how many complaints they have had, etc. Email the agency and ask them to explain any complaints listed. If you don't use an agency, then contact your local churches or your local dept of aging and see if they will produce some quality candidates. Another area in being vulnerable is your money. Eva Mor talks about caregivers having access to your money, which is a bad thing, as abuse can easily and quickly happen. You have done a fantastic job in communicating all this time i have been on the list serve, pat yourself, because you are amazing. You do a great job communicating on the computer, and if you can print from your computer, make labels that way. Nothing fancy, just large font and simple words, DARK CLOTHES, LIGHT CLOTHES, WHITES, TOWELS, SHEETS, DRY ONLY SORTED CLOTHES TOGETHER. Make a note for detergents and softener area, about how much to use. Short and sweet.... 1/2 capful etc. There is a new softener ball at Walmart for $1.20. You add downy in the ball and throw in your dryer with cleaned clothes. Haven't tried it, but for those who dry their clothes and can't fold them right away, this may be a great solution. Print your words on bottom half of a 8x11" sheet, fold it over and hang on your laundry baskets or tape on baskets or tape on wall area by wash area and dryer area. Wish i lived closer to you, so i could help you sort thru this. Keep us posted how it all works out for you, Patti cg 16 On Dec 28, 2009, at 2:04 AM, rayilynlee wrote: > good ideas patti, but I can't write. > she comes twice a week for 4 hours > some people are suggesting sheh is being abusive, whiich I worry > yabout too being vulnerable > > thankks more l ater > ray > Rayilyn Brown > Director AZNPF > Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation > [log in to unmask] > > -------------------------------------------------- > From: "PATTI ZAPF" <[log in to unmask]> > Sent: Sunday, December 27, 2009 10:30 AM > To: <[log in to unmask]> > Subject: Re: Help!! Advice needed re caregiver > >> my suggestion is you get the book : MAKING THE GOLDEN YEARS GOLDEN, >> BY EVA MOR >> She outlines several suggestions about caregivers and one of the >> biggest challenges of finding and keeping one. >> She suggests you switch them out. I know this is scary, alot of >> work, and training, but Eva says there is a burn out on caregiving. >> It makes sense, as your caregiver has had the same routine for 5 >> years with you. Maybe more work, with less money. >> >> I don't know, at times i think caregiving is a thankless job. >> Unless you have Parkinson's, you can't feel what the patient is >> feeling, only notice how it affects them daily. >> >> Sort your dirty clothes for her. Label each basket on how you >> want them washed, with directions. Add a sign to the dryer, >> asking sorted clothes not be dryed together. Maybe she just >> doesn't remember how you want things washed and dryed... Maybe >> she is thinking about all the other things in her life she needs >> to do, while taking care of you. >> >> trying to be helpful, >> patti cg 16 >> >> >> On Dec 26, 2009, at 8:47 PM, rayilynlee wrote: >> >>> Hi NK and fellow Parkies and CGs: >>> >>> I've had company the last few days and unable to do computer >>> work. I'm completely worn out. >>> >>> I'm also having problems with my "caregiver". For sometime now >>> she has been very annoyed and angry with me for my voice >>> problems. Because I am not screaming bloody murder she assumes >>> PD is like getting old. If I raise my voice she reacts like I >>> am angry with her even though I have explained that I "strangle" >>> when I try to speak. I typed her a message on the computer >>> this week. The trouble is she is not a very smart or >>> sophisticated person and is not going to change. She will never >>> understand Parkinson's. >>> >>> I'm putting this message on the PIEN in an effort to get advice >>> from everyone. >>> >>> There are other problems too (last Christmas she threw out my >>> mothers ashes), the destruction of my clothes with lint, >>> wrinkles, putting white and dark colors together is reaching a >>> critical mass and she denies any responsibility and she told me I >>> should buy different kinds of clothes. She left me for over an >>> hour at the manicurist while she ate lunch last week. I don't >>> mind her always eating on the job, but this was too much. She >>> never answered her phone when the proprietors called her several >>> times. >>> >>> She lives with her daughter, son-in-law and is part-time >>> babysitter for their 3 young children. They both work for >>> Southwest Airlines and she never knows what day she will work for >>> me. She has a hectic life and I try to accommodate her. I store >>> her things in my extra closets for her. >>> >>> Any suggestions would be appreciated. She has good qualities and >>> it is not easy to find someone. She has worked for me for 5 >>> years. In the beginning I made a list of chores and left her >>> alone. >>> >>> These problems have grown - as my PD has gotten worse. the >>> clothes thing happened a few at a time. eating on job has >>> increased - she used to take me out to eat and I bought her >>> meals. not answering her phone is a few instances at a time. >>> Not wanting to make a big deal out of little things, they have >>> accumulated. >>> >>> Ray >>> >>> Rayilyn Brown >>> Director AZNPF >>> Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation >>> [log in to unmask] >>> >>> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >>> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] >>> In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn >> >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] >> In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn