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Patti I have been following your suggestions. There is no reason why I can't at least get this started right. I will use computer to make signs. Today went better. thanks to everyone's input and support I have regained the upper hand (I think). I will create a Household Handbook. I will still look into a replacement. I don't want to trade one bad helper for another, however. thanks so much Ray Rayilyn Brown Director AZNPF Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation [log in to unmask] -------------------------------------------------- From: "PATTI ZAPF" <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Sunday, December 27, 2009 10:30 AM To: <[log in to unmask]> Subject: Re: Help!! Advice needed re caregiver > my suggestion is you get the book : MAKING THE GOLDEN YEARS GOLDEN, BY > EVA MOR > She outlines several suggestions about caregivers and one of the biggest > challenges of finding and keeping one. > She suggests you switch them out. I know this is scary, alot of work, > and training, but Eva says there is a burn out on caregiving. > It makes sense, as your caregiver has had the same routine for 5 years > with you. Maybe more work, with less money. > > I don't know, at times i think caregiving is a thankless job. Unless you > have Parkinson's, you can't feel what the patient is feeling, only notice > how it affects them daily. > > Sort your dirty clothes for her. Label each basket on how you want them > washed, with directions. Add a sign to the dryer, asking sorted clothes > not be dryed together. Maybe she just doesn't remember how you want > things washed and dryed... Maybe she is thinking about all the other > things in her life she needs to do, while taking care of you. > > trying to be helpful, > patti cg 16 > > > On Dec 26, 2009, at 8:47 PM, rayilynlee wrote: > >> Hi NK and fellow Parkies and CGs: >> >> I've had company the last few days and unable to do computer work. I'm >> completely worn out. >> >> I'm also having problems with my "caregiver". For sometime now she has >> been very annoyed and angry with me for my voice problems. Because I >> am not screaming bloody murder she assumes PD is like getting old. If >> I raise my voice she reacts like I am angry with her even though I have >> explained that I "strangle" when I try to speak. I typed her a message >> on the computer this week. The trouble is she is not a very smart or >> sophisticated person and is not going to change. She will never >> understand Parkinson's. >> >> I'm putting this message on the PIEN in an effort to get advice from >> everyone. >> >> There are other problems too (last Christmas she threw out my mothers >> ashes), the destruction of my clothes with lint, wrinkles, putting white >> and dark colors together is reaching a critical mass and she denies any >> responsibility and she told me I should buy different kinds of clothes. >> She left me for over an hour at the manicurist while she ate lunch last >> week. I don't mind her always eating on the job, but this was too much. >> She never answered her phone when the proprietors called her several >> times. >> >> She lives with her daughter, son-in-law and is part-time babysitter for >> their 3 young children. They both work for Southwest Airlines and she >> never knows what day she will work for me. She has a hectic life and I >> try to accommodate her. I store her things in my extra closets for her. >> >> Any suggestions would be appreciated. She has good qualities and it is >> not easy to find someone. She has worked for me for 5 years. In >> the beginning I made a list of chores and left her alone. >> >> These problems have grown - as my PD has gotten worse. the clothes >> thing happened a few at a time. eating on job has increased - she used >> to take me out to eat and I bought her meals. not answering her phone >> is a few instances at a time. Not wanting to make a big deal out of >> little things, they have accumulated. >> >> Ray >> >> Rayilyn Brown >> Director AZNPF >> Arizona Chapter National Parkinson Foundation >> [log in to unmask] >> >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >> To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: >> mailto:[log in to unmask] >> In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: > mailto:[log in to unmask] > In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:[log in to unmask] In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn