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From: [log in to unmask] To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Support for emotional problems of Parkinson's Disease MaryVass, In response to your message regarding your mother's emotional problems and her diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease, I can share that my mother, 87 years, also has exhibited strong emotional responses. Because she experienced a variety of life changes at the same time (spouse's death three years earlier, selling of home, moving to retirement facility), her emotional symptoms and physical symptoms of shakiness were thought to be reactions to these events. Even when the diagnosis of Parkinson's was made, the neurologist said the symptoms were mild. I suggested that my Mother join support groups within her church to deal with the loss of my Father; however, she declined. In many ways she exhibits the disengagement theory of aging, pulling away from most people. I believe many well qualified physicians do not deal easily with emotional problems in their patients. We expect physicians to be perfect and are angry when they do not address all facets of a person's particular predicament. Actually, I believe hearing of others' problems could be depressing. It probably depends on how the group develops and who takes responsibility for its growth. Groups take on personalities and grow and change over time. I have the good fortune of having two maiden aunts in their early nineties who are both legally blind and who live together in the wintry country of the Berkshire Mountains in Massachusetts. I have known them all my life and keep in touch by phone and occasional visits. It has been interesting to hear them describe their activites, their support of each other, the support of others for them, and their social lives which have great meaning. I believe what keeps them going is the fact that they still live in their home, yet, have the resources and social groups that give them something to look forward to: church socials, Daughters of the American Revolution activities, garden club activities, eating holiday dinners with friends at restaurants, etc. As the years pass these activities depend more on commercial eating places instead of gatherings at each others homes. They await an opening in the same retirement facility where my Mother resides, yet I know they do not want to go there. When they are down physically and have to be hospitalized (both did within the past year) they are ready to accept relocation and reduced life space. To make a conscious decision to go when they are not down is very difficult for them. Perhaps friends one has known for many years are the best source of emotional support. Friends often are more tolerant of one's diminishing capacities than family members. I believe it is the exceptional family who can manage two generations in the same household. Yet, as physical capacity wanes, one wants one's family there. This poses problems for children who have careers. Can elder children work and caretake, too? Seventy-year-olds caring for ninety-year-olds is no longer unusual. If the seventy-year-olds become ill, then who cares for the ninety-year-olds? A single person can take care of an infant 24-hours a day. It usually takes at least three persons to care for an elder 24-hours a day. This is more philosophy than help. Maybe through this list philosophy can be turned into practicality.