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Barbara, I am sorry that your friend, a wonderful friend and person, was murdered. This way of death must be especially hard. I can not even imagine. I have a friend and colleague whose Mother was murdered. I asked Marilyn what I should say that would possibly help. She has talked to other people who have had the same thing happen and also there are a couple of helpful books. But we all have our time to grieve and my experience is kind of like my mother-in-laws, "you don't get over it you just kind of get used to it." Best wishes. Jan Potter