Dear Diane, I asked my mother a number of times for permission to speak with her doctor. She finally agreed and he and I chatted at length about her. Would your father be offended if you asked? Do you know the physician? Frankly, I suspect that the physician would welcome your concern. It's tough though when one tries to respect the dignity and autonomy of a parent when clearly they are in need of help and of an advocate. My best to you, Judith