>Tamara, I don't know if you want a reply, but my heart goes out to you. I know
>exactly what you mean. Its not my Dad, but my Mom, and in her case, she
>does what I call "fixating" on things, for example, she rummages through all
>her paperwork for hours, sometimes several times per week. She will also
>do the same thing with her meds (to our horror!) As she was an excellent
>seamstress in her younger years, my heart breaks to see her attempting to
>hem something and eventually ruining it. She can't understand why she can't
>still do it. She can't even cut out a pattern any longer. It is so
>heartbreaking to watch. The people you spoke of at the restaurant needed to
>be told off. Have they no common courtesy? We've experienced that, too.
>So, I'm not much help, but just to let you know you're not alone.
>Lynn Lowe [log in to unmask]
Thanks for your reply, Lynn! I know exactly what you mean by
"fixating"...the winter is a difficult time for Dad since he can't get out
as easily during that time. When it's not really cold out, Mom lets him use
the snowblower, because it really does help things--makes him feel like he's
helping Mom. He also occasionally vacuums..not perfectly, but he does try.
Anyway, the basement is Dad's favorite place to "tinker" during the cold
months here in Michigan; it used to bother Mom that it was getting so messy
down there, but now she realizes it does help his mood. He takes things out
of boxes, puts them back, puts them in different boxes. Same with the
bedroom things. Sometimes he likes to put on his Air Force cap or dogtags
and wear them around the house. Then he just puts them back. Dad isn't
really good about remembering when to take his medications, so my mother has
to place them on the table or into his hands a dose at a time. But he does
know usually when he's due for them. However, he'd get confused and
overmedicated if he handled the meds himself. That's why he no longer does that.
Saddest thing happened about a year ago. Dad hasn't driven in perhaps 6
years; the Secretary of State wrote a letter (which my mom intercepted,
thank goodness) asking what was going on. For insurance purposes, he needed
to have his license renewed or something. My mother ended up writing a
letter that really broke her heart concerning Dad; it basically told them
that my father has Parkinson's and is no longer able to drive...that he was
an excellent driver and had taught my mom how to drive when they were first
married. And what's hard is that we can't bring it upon ourselves to tell
Dad he no longer has a license. He loved to drive, and often accuses Mom and
I of "stealing the car" from him. I told him, the first time he said that,
"No, Dad; we didn't steal it away from you...Parkinson's did."
I'm really thankful this is online and hope I'm not typing too much; it just
feels better to know that others understand what our family goes through.
Tamara
_/_ / / /
/ __ / /_ o _. /_ _ Tamara D. Hicks Syron
< (__/_/ /_<_(_ / <_/_)_ Publications
National Center for Research on Teacher Learning
College of Education
Michigan State University
East Lansing
_ _ ______________________________
/ (. .) \ * There are only two lasting *
/*\ * bequests we can hope to give *
Heidi the * our children. One of these *
wonder * is roots; the other, wings. *
beagle * -Hodding Carter- *
*______________________________*
