My mother is the primary care-taker for my father, who was diagnosed with
PD about 14 years ago. She attends support group meetings, reads tons of
medical literature, and accompanies him to the doctor. Mom has set
herself up as the family "expert" on PD, which is fine. However, we kids
are finding it very difficult to see how Mom is constantly on Dad's case.
When we get together for family gatherings, she watches him like a hawk
and makes constant belittling comments. "Don't let yourself slump in
your chair that way." "You can't eat anything until your meds kick in."
"That has protein, eat this instead." "You're slurring your words, slow
down." The really frightening thing is that she probably talks to him
that way all of the time and not just when we are at family gatherings.
I realize that she is with Dad every day, all day, and therefore
knows his needs better than any of us kids. When we try to make
light of the situation ("It's a holiday, we're all eating things we
shouldn't!"), she gets angry that we kids are trying to "undermine" her
expertese.
Since the holidays are coming up and we will be seeing lots of each
other, I was wondering if anyone out there has experienced something
similiar to this and how you dealt with it.
Thanks for your support!
Jane Metz, [log in to unmask]
