Dear Piet--welcome to the PD list--you have given us a very clear and moving picture of the situation you and your mother have to deal with. As I read, I was relieved to note that you speak of warm support from friends, a part-time person to come in and help care for your mother, etc. The close bond you and your mother share shows through the account of your problems, and must be sustaining for both of you. The mention of day care shows also that there are resources in your community to help--that's wonderful! As a caregiver involved in a caregivers' group here, I know how important it is for YOU to take care of YOURSELF also. I hope you do have chances to get away regularly and do things that and enjoyable and rejuvenating for you. Your mother is very lucky to have your help and involvement, believe me--this is not always the case. I hope the list will offer support and suggestions that will be helpful for your family.Stay in touch. The Flintermanns