From his 1988 book, Too Funny to be President (imagine it underlined), Mo
Udall shares this computer story.
"Another of Uncle Earl's favorite stories was about a "thinking machine,'
what we would call a personal computer today. This thinking machine was a
remarkable device, one that could answer any question its owner asked it.
Although the owner took great advantage of the machine, deep down he
resented it, for he was the kind of man who couldn't stand to have a machine
outsmart him. One day he decided to trip it up by posing a question it would
not be able to answer. He typed in, 'Where is my dearly beloved father at
this very moment?' The machine whirred and clicked and finally spat out,
'Your dearly beloved father is in a pool hall in Pittsburgh, shooting a game
of eight ball against a gentleman named Joe Sullivan. He is sitting down,
and Mr. Sullivan is about to break.' This made the owner furious, and he
angrily typed, 'I demand an apology. My dearly beloved father is not in
Pittsburgh, he is in Philadelphia buried in peaceful repose on the side of a
hill.' The machine went 'clank,clank, burr, burr...repeat, reinvestigate'
and then spat out the following message: 'Your dearly beloved father is still
in Pittsburgh in the game against Mr. Sullivan...he is now three points down.
Your mother's lawfully married husband is lying in peaceful repose on a
hillside in Philadelphia, you bastard.' "
Morris K Udall was 73 yesterday. Happy Birthday, sir. May what we do
in your name bring honor to it. Our best wishes.
