Dear David Boots-- No, this is not God, but we humans have to listen too, and your letter tells me you need lots of listeners. You sound so all alone, yet you speak of friends who want to offer help when needed. Do you know any other PD patients (aside from those now in touch through the list)? It sounds as if a support group, or a friend or two who could really understand what it's like to be in your skin, would be a (literal) "lifesaver". Is there even one friend or family member you can be totally honest with about how things are, and how it feels? Is that a risk you could take, maybe--if you haven't? If you can post where you live, perhaps someone on the list is near at hand--or can tell you where to find a group. Please stay in touch here--there are so many of this group of people who can truly empathise and identify with what you are experiencing. Take care--Camilla and Peter Flintermann, Oxford,OH