Last month, I wrote an "open letter to God" while in a trough of PD-related
depression. The letter was very gut-wrenching to write and was written
hoping to unleash some emotions in the postings; something I could relate
to or draw hope from. First of all, thanks to those who wrote or called and
stated how they were moved by my words and how refreshing it was to stop
talking about fava-beans at least for a little while.
Like others, I have noticed the roles certain of us play in choosing our
areas of expertise which we share with others on-line. I guess mine is
putting into words the pain that one particular young person with PD feels
and how I'm handling things. I've gotten to where I see the person's name
who's posting and I can guess the contents before viewing. Hopefully, mine
will feel the same way to people (Oh, great, here's another touch-feeley
soapbox-speech from "Mr. Shaking and Baking in Northern California". Hope
he says some more funny stuff).
I related a story which was intended to convey "poor planning" on my part
(the "front porch" incident), not an ongoing battle with incontinence (the
postings regarding where-to-find-clothing will be beneficial for some of
you out there, I'm sure). My quest for a source of fetal-cell surgery was
answered by one person (thanks, Alan!). The majority of postings (most of
which were for every- one's viewing) suggested I seek professional therapy
(been there, done that), support groups (ditto), and that I start
antidepressants (ditto) as soon as possible. Again, good intentions I'm
sure. I just wanted to convey that life as a single PD-sufferer is tough.
Which brings me to........................
On 7/31, I met with my new Kaiser neurologist to exchange info. I was very
"off" by the time I got there so I was susceptible to emotional waves. She
suggested that I consider a pallidotomy in early 1996 since I was a good
candidate. Before answering her, I played 20-questions about both the
pallidotomy and fetal-cell surgery. Both are operations to "buy more time",
not to stop the disease (I'd hoped that the newly-growing transplanted
fetal-cells would outpace the disappearing substantia nigra cells). In
talking to me about my PD and asking questions about my background, I was
struck by the fact that I had encountered "a neurologist who really cares
about my situation, not the "other kind". We have many more appointments
before the 1996-operation takes place. Which brings me to.................
As I've "surfed the Net" or "walked the Web", I've come across quotes that
I found amusing or pertinent (or both). The following are ones which have
brought me smiles and hope, (I hope they do the same for you).
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I'll never find out all I can do until I do all I can to find out.
"Even arrival is also a point of departure ..."
"There's only two things in life ... but I forget what they are" - John Hiatt
What would life be like without hypotheticals?
"You know what they say about love."
"What's that?"
"I can't remember...but it was right on the money"
"Out of blue comes green."
All we can do is to assume our lives must change...
When banjos are outlawed, only outlaws will have banjos.
Doesn't the fact that there are *exactly* 50 states seem a little suspicious?
Life is just nature's way of keeping meat fresh.
"Your heart is the big box of paints, and others, the canvas you're dealt.."
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me,
it's the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no
longer be fantasies.
Fran Lebowitz
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than
going to the garage makes you a car.
Laurence J. Peter
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Martin Mull
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It
involves Russia.
Woody Allen
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first." -- Mark Twain
What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen?
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit
the target."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."
"If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?"
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
-- Emerson
"You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
"My life needs a rewind/erase button." -- _Calvin and Hobbes_
"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could
know how seldom they do." -- Olin Miller.
"Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is
probably parked."
"Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth."
-- Alan Watts
"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so
regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for
us." -- Alexander Graham Bell
"Without music life would be a mistake." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
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Take care, everyone.
