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Dear Camilla: It's amazing how just knowing about this group has lifted a burden, especially when I can get answers from people who really care about the problems. In response to your reply on Aug. 6th, you may have read my answer to A. Bonander & C. Meyer. IF not, I'll summarize and in doing so answer some of your questions. My father is not terribly mobile, he cannot usually get up or down alone. I doubt that there could be physical abuse. He is also practically blind. I have found a counselor through my husband's employer who hopefully will be able to help me help them. My mother doesn't seem to have the energy/desire to go for counseling alone and doesn't think taking my father would be beneficial at this point. She is open to me going and trying to help them, however. I, too, read your poetry and wept a bit. Not just for my father, my mother or my family, but for all the vibrant, funny, intelligent people on this listwwho I'll never meet in person, but are doing so much for each other just by listening and responding. Betti Adams for Max and Shirley Becker Betti S. Adams [log in to unmask]