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Gas Explosion Kills Dozens A mysterious mid-morning gas explosion occurred in the Brady Amnesia Medical Center this morning. The cause of the blast is being investigated. A survivor who describes herself as a "caretaker for a neurological patient" was said to have repeated one word over and over to the medical personnel attending her injuries: "fava". Investigations will continue. -------------------------------------------------------------------- NEW and IMPROVED Cinn-a-mint A breakthrough in the world of neurology and breath fresheners (Scene opens on young man in frozen state lying next to a beautiful woman in middle-America-esque bedroom) "Has this ever happened to you? You awaken to the sun shining through your window with your special someone next to you and you know you have early-morning halitosis..not not to mention the fact that your body craves dopamine. And we all know that the bradykinesia will give way to tremors when we try to make it to the bathroom and try in vain to hold the toothpaste tube (more or less squeeze it)....and who feels like stabbing or scraping their gums with a toothbrush first thing in the morning??!" Well now there's Cinn-A-Mint, the new dopamine supplement and breath freshener all-in-one! Just pop a Cinn-A-Mint when you wake up in the morning and you'll be symptom-free and have kissable breath in no time. @Cinn-A-Mint is a product of the Certs-Roche Co, Inc. ------------------------------------------------------------ Conversational snippets overheard at latest YOP conference "....and I told the doctor, "I've always considered myself a very impotent person" ....he certainly had a strong handshake for such an old man" ....."is that dyskinesia or are you just glad to see me?" ....."I think she likes me; she's been staring at me all evening!" ......"we take drugs pretty seriously at our house".. ....."hey, looks like somebody got their prescription filled recently!" ........and I said to her, "As long as you're feeling dyskinetic, how 'bout getting started on that butter-churning"? ..........so I asked him, "Why don't we go to your place and you can show me all those child-proof containers you're always talking about?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Earth report: A 4.0 earthquake struck the town of Idiopathic, CA at approximately 7:12 AM this morning. A resident, Davis Booth, when asked if he felt the earthquake, replied "Yes, I definitely felt some tremors". Mr. Booth appeared visibly shaken. --------------------------------------- Television Corner (Last week, we asked the readers to submit a revised version of a popular TV theme-song based on their favorite neurological disease. The winning entry was by Eileen A-Lot. *Sufferers of PD may find the following parody devoid of any redeeming social content. This viewpoint will probably change as their medicine kicks in -Editor (to the tune of The Brady Bunch) There's a kinesia and we call it Brady that will keep you from moving on your own You need some stimuli something to catch your eye How will you reach the phone? There's a kinesia and we call it Dys-sy that will give you more movement than you've known They're just two of the many symptoms that some of us now own But then one day when the symptoms get too many And you feel that you're about to give up hope Grab that noose and crawl down off the table Be-cause we all know that that's a waste of rope The PD-blues the PD-blues When will we learn to lose those PD-blues?! Note: Any person(s) or style of humor simliar to that of the Editor is strictly intentional. Feedback is welcome (direct or to group)