"Michael P. Sherman" <[log in to unmask]> It is difficult to even imagine what you are going through. If I hadn't read so much of the List mail since I joined, including some of the Archives, your situation would likely have traumatized me and brought excessive tears again. For some weird reason just meeting more and more Parkinsonians and realizing the complexity, uncertainty and inexorable progression of PD gives me perspective, hope, and a very strong feeling of not being alone. This group will help you in every way it can, especially in developing a positive attitude which you will hear over and over is the key- and I am convinced they are right. Many unfortunates have never been married to a wonderful, caring partner; never had a daughter and son like you and I; never lived to be even 48, but were cut down by our world, you have known many; never felt the satisfaction of helping others in a great profession. If I knew you better, I could go on and on. I try to look at the world we are now in and feel good about my place in it. Your place is important to many and they need your best. At first I couldn't even begin to approach this attitude; now it does't take so long. Most of the time now I am not angry or depressed-just do the many interesting things I carefully placed on my "To Do" list (So I wouldn't forget them). I will never give up no matter how bad it gets and I will do what I can to stop PD in its tracks! Here are My non MD, personal, perhaps unfounded answers to your questions (even though by now many already have responded) because I believe all questions should get answered. Based on my experience and to a large degree influenced by List members: 1. PD progresses at different rates for different people. No two of us are alike in symptoms, medications, age of onset or just about anything else. My Neuro and I are using the common meds to slow it down: Simemet CR, Eldepryl, and Permax so far. 2. Of course your worst fears COULD become the reality for you, but with your background I can't believe it. From time to time I think the worst and even start planning. A Longterm Insurance Plan from Public Employees Retirement system hit my real mailbox recently. What turmoil that brought. Until then I had never heard of DLA or is is ADL - activities of daily living; like getting out of bed. On this list you will hear about many hopeful new developments. Stay tuned to them. 3. Not only has there been much discussion about herbs and herb tea, vitamins, holistic medicine, and maybe acupuncture; but just about anything else you can imagine including the philosophy and "religion" underneath/or above them. Learn to search the List Archives for topics you are interested. It is huge. 4. Yes, reading the List messages will make you depressed at times, but encouraged, hopeful, informed (most of the time); and you will meet friends with PD with almost exactly the same condition, feelings, and methods of coping. With about 1000 people worldwide for you to meet, it can happen! Unfortunately most watch and read, but do not speak. That is their right. What if everyone felt obligated to answer your questions. We would be reading this list for a long long time. 5. Trusting your Neuro may come in time. After all he gave you the PD news & blues. He will sometimes seem uninformed, or opinionated; uncaring but friendly; inexperienced with PD but knowledgable. Mostly he/she will be inscrutable, a little "cold" and somewhat "distant". Truth is they vary just as Parkinsonians do. You will read "horror" stories about some, and Extreme praise about others. You may need to change or you may be with your neuro for many years. I got a second opinion about the diagnosis and Rx-mostly to meet another one of "them". Ask around. Wait till you hear about the researchers and surgeons all over the world working on our disease. I will probably stick with mine as long as we agree on what to do (perhaps I should say, "As long as he gets along with Glenyth, my wife.") This was far too long- I tend to get carried away. Helps me forget and I feel like I'm back in my classroom or reading student papers. Just one more comment---(do you know the detective?). Some Listees are fascinated, almost consumed by the search for the cause(s) of PD. Your story will support one of the major concerns. I will now contribute two more: I was born early at 4lb, 6oz with multiple intestinal hernias in 1926 when no pre-natal units were even thought of. I'm sure that the lack of sufficient oxygen and blood circulation caused the brain damage which eventually led to my Pd; and the fact that my sister was ordered to never let met cry for fear of my spilling my guts socialized my sole and feelings to the point of no return from the cold deep abyss of my true beginning causing my PD the moment I began to enjoy life. Fred Turner <[log in to unmask]>