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Since I am leaving Sat. for a couple days to attend a conference on the possible role of the environment in Parkinson's Disease, I had to write one last poem on this subject to take along with me. Here goes: ************************** I AM NOT THE PROBLEM I am not the problem Altho' the problem is mine Should toxins be implicated In accelerating natural decline. It is true that our environment Was never totally benign, But that's a weak argument For arrogantly altering it intended design. Pesticides and other toxins created by man Have not long existed on earth Compared with the variety of life To which the creator gave birth. Life was here first Before these substances were created. Their benefits it seems Have been much overrated. Their true worth has yet to be proven And comes at great cost Will no one protest 'Till all life is lost? I am eternal A mirror of the Divine While admittedly not perfect Neither 'deficient' as some would define. As far as I'm concerned I am as I was meant to be My genetic make-up Representing the idea of diversity. Altho' my genes may be the factor Making me, vs some others, susceptible To say that I'm the one needing fixing Is completely indefensible. The argument not only is absurd Furthermore it is lame, On the victim rather than the cause Placing the blame. I will argue. I will shout. Demanding attention from the powers that be "Fix the environment which we've ruined For only that will fix me!" I will not accept Domination by this foe When this cosmic battle for existence concludes Who the victor will be, I aleady know. Life vs. anti-life Can't some of you see? No matter my 'deficiency' The problem isn't me. Altho' perhaps I may have developed PD When much further in years, I've got to deal with it now And this brings anger, not tears. I do not fear Nor do I despise PD It is neither the sole problem Nor mine enemy. PD is my mentor Occasionally my friend Bringing me full circle Back to the beginning, Not to the end. Back to my youth While still innocent and free I swore I'd later live in the wilderness Away from man's polluted society. While that may never quite happen And even should it come to pass I still would have had to join this battle As these toxins affect All, down to the last. I fight for all creatures Who inhabit this globe I will not spend my energy Questioning "Why me?" like Job. I have found my life's passion And I'll fight the good fight To live life to the fullest Both because of PD, and also despite. Since lack of passionate expression may reveal One facet of a 'PD personality' It must be a blessing That this has happened to me. Altho' PD be a strict teacher I will do as she asks Allowing my passion to animate me Thus shedding forever the mask.