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This term suddenly jumped out and bit me--OFFENSIVE.  What opinion,
attitude, action doesn't offend someone.  That's not the problem.  We
need a more precisely directed term to name what is problematic.

This issue arises in relation to harassment policies, some of which
describe harassment as offensive behaviour.  Heck, some people are
offended by academic discourse generally.

What is at issue has to be HARM, I think.  Someone has to be harmed
or threatened with harm.  There has to be some demonstrable or
potential damage.