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My mother as caregiver to Dad (78, diagnosed 6 yrs) is getting more and more burned out. She only gets 9 hours of respite weekly during which she runs around doing errands, shopping, etc. so it's not really restful. As much as she would like a few more hours, it is not cheap and she's saving their $$ for a time when it's more necessary. How does one know when that time has arrived? I'm worried of course for her health (she's got some problems of her own-- arthritis, a stress-related skin condition, etc.) and hers and my Dad's well-being. I do what I can and so do my brother & sister but she seems to be very angry at the situation and takes it out on Dad. Physically she cares for him well, and usually tries to be sympathetic, but sometimes (when he is frozen) the way she talks to him scares me. If I heard an employee talk to him that way they would be fired on the spot. Altho I don't favor a nursing home, Mom has talked about that option, but decided after shopping around that they can't afford it. Of course, since she bears the brunt of everything I wouldn't argue if that's what she felt she had to do. I wish she would go for counseling but she doesn't feel it would help and I agree the situation won't change, just possibly her attitude. I went for counseling but was told that me going couldn't help Mom and that was my goal. Mom just keeps saying "it's all right, I can handle it" in between the bad times. Caregivers, how often is it normal to explode with anger? How bad is it for the patient (I'm guessing it's horrible). Any suggestions on how she might release her anger besides lashing out at Dad? Also, with 2 very young children I'm a bit limited on giving her respite. Any suggestions on what I could do to help more besides visiting and calling as often as possible? Betti Adams [log in to unmask]