---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Thu, 16 Nov 1995 13:39:16 EST From: MR DON SCHREIBER <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Death of Parkinson's Caregiver Dear Barbara: My name is Don Schreiber and my mom, Sadie, has advanced Parkinsons. She is 75. My dad, Frank, passed away on Nov. 4 after a short illness. He was mom's primary caregiver. I live 400 miles away. My sister is in Las Cruces, NM, where mom is, but has two small children and a doctor husband and a demanding schedule. So we lost our Dad and now are facing mom's care. We have some resources, and have 24 hr. care with mom now in her home. She was scheduled for a pallindotomy, and had been thru all the tests and was to be fitted for a frame on July 26 with Dr. Dogali in Orange, CA when she refused the surgery and said she would "come back later". I have tried to keep the surgery open, now scheduled to be completed on Nov. 28th, but mom has said no. She can't face being without medicine while the procedure is being done which can be several hours. Of course the doctor won't proceed further with mom saying "No". What the point of all of this is, I don't know. I just feel a great dilemma; wanting the best for mom, marshalling avaliable resources, trying to conduct our own lives. So many people must be in this same shape, or worse, and I never knew. Mom has diskenesia(sp) and can't take anti-depressives, I guess. But she is so depressed, and is not going anywhere with her Parkinson's anyway, so why not give her something to make her feel better? Is Parkinson's painful? Or just limiting in motion? She complains of great pain. I can't tell if it's just depression. Any comments or help would be appreciated. I subscribed to the discussion group, and am anxious to see what that brings. Don