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Thanks, Delana, for a wise and helpfully honest post about caregiving. I suspect you are right that we self-censor our words at times, on both ends of the relationship. You have practically written a caregiver's manual and my only additional thought would be to try to find a caregivers' support group, or knowledgable support person to talk to when things get too stressful. Perhaps even on this list someone could set up a separate distribution list of interested caregivers? I think the idea was raised in some form months ago, but don't have the name of the person who brought it up. Also , there are good guides for selecting a nursing home,and these should be available at a local senior center,library,or family service agency. Lots of resources, if we know where to look. Camilla Flintermann (C) Peter(76-6)