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Dear Don,
 
Your story sounds a lot like mine.  My mother too is 75 years old, 10 year
patient, lost my father November 4th 1994 to cancer.  He was her primary
caregiver.  But unlike you, I have a brother and sister and we are all within
an hour of her.  I do see her wince in pain on occasion, I believed caused
mostly my muscle spasms due to over medication. She is still on her own but
we are going to move her closer to us in the spring.  I do what I can for her
but mostly I pray.  I pray for her and your mom and all of the others out
there that deserve better.  God bless.