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Especially at holiday times and the beginning of the school year, there are many receptions and other "eating" functions at the university units where I work. I always insisted that Don accompany me to those that were open to nonstaff because I thought (still do) that it was imperative he remain "social". As his tremor became worse, however, it became impossible for him to handle chopsticks (or knife and fork), not to mention a glass of anything. And it was difficult for me to manage food and drink for two (a monkey's tail would have helped). Two of my colleagues, in particular, made it a point to offer unobtrusive help. "If Cathy and Jerry will be there, I'll go; otherwise, you go alone." Cathy and Jerry made it possible for Don to have a social life during those darkest days before his stimulation surgery. True angels. Joanne Sandstrom [log in to unmask]