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gentle reader - peace and leftover stuffing to all of you. I have some concerns and issues, some of which I am sure many members of our group would be interested in seeing responded to and some of which possibly you could respond to me offlist. I am faced with what I am sure is one of the major phases of our disease - going off job and on to Long Term Disability. As I suspect may be the case with many of our group, this option may not be that optional by the time it is discussed with our employers due to our/my declining ability to produce in an ever increasingly downsized and rapid turn around world. Couple to that my own personality which is as you have seen in my postings almost always upbeat, brash and comic and you get a culture clash sort of event. In my case the real root problem and dilemma is my sleeper module checked out of my body about 18 - 24 months ago and it has been hell trying to ever get to work on time at anytime since then. Add to that an upbeat personality and you have corporate oil and personal water because the msg seems to read to my current mgmt "this boy ain't toting water the way we told him too AND, being kind of uppety ...he's laffing about it too" At any rate, the choices facing me now seem to be to "accept" an LTD package and scurry forth to be seen no more or engage the enemy in a rather white knuckle, risky type threat/negotiation phase that might end in a legal confrontation. Downsides to the 2nd approach being the fact my company is still actively engaged in downsizing so other foxholes are increasingly harder to find, my current situation is rather exacerbated by my boss' and my inability to come up with a reasonable mutually agreed upon work schedule to accommodate my zombie morning state and finally a feeling of general malaise on my part which I attribute as part of our disease (but could be a personal "laziness"). I never did the jump up on the desk and sing the corporate song routine very well and now the feeling from deep inside me seems to be more of the "in 100 years what will any of this matter?" kind of feeling. So, that stage being set, bottom line - here are my questions I'd like you to entertain, suggest possible paths, slap me up the side of my head if you think that I'm jiving you: 1. in this world of downsizing and rapid response service em til you drop mentality, do you think the risk is worth the possible gain to even think about going ADA assertive in a case like this? My possible winnings being a couple more full earnings years, then greatly reduced earnings (earliest retirement pension vs. 60% of current income LTD) but a paid up med plan IF IF IF I can struggle til the magic age of 55 (I am 51 now so it is not a cakewalk even if I get over the falls in the current battle). My possible losings are the 60% of current income LTD til 65 and a small pension after that but no permanent med policy. if my boss chooses to "eliminate" my position and then "eliminate" me - which there are rumblings he might do - sound familiar? 2. does leaving employment now on an LTD mean just that or am I going to have to defend my LTD status every 6 - 12 months in the future to ensure I am not suddenly deemed "certifiably workable" still having Parkinsons, with no job anywhere to return to and LTD benefits terminated? 3 (this is actually part b of question 2) - does LTD mean you have lost the right to any small odd jobbing or part time work in the fear of losing your LTD status and stipend?. Does it mean engaging in "cash economy" tactics more frequently? Bottom line here being does attaching a W-2 form to your taxes after you have taken LTD mean the kiss of death? 4.are there other med plans (esp supplementary drug cost plans) that might be worth my looking into at this time. Other concerns you have of this nature but not expressed by me would be welcome too 5 finally, any advice you deem appropriate to my case (taking me to task is acceptable too. I have tender little feelings like we all do but if you think I need a good keelhauling and fresh perspective - haul away) I realize the length of this post, I appreciate your reading it and look forward to your list or offlist advice. I also understand, especially from some of the heart wrenching personal stories I have read on this list, that there are far more frightening and serious matters still to be encountered by me and other young Parkinsonians in upcoming phases of our disease. Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance... it is a humbling act. However, I think this issue might be one of concern to many on the list and some good may come of discussing this in a general way. thx, folks Brother Rat (who didn't have thanksgiving at his place and thus is not troubled by a refrigerator groaning with leftovers to be consumed or else!)