 |
 |
Patricia, You seem to be dealing with many of the same issues most of us face sooner or later. I was diagnosed over ten years ago, and felt that somehow I would know when it was time to retire from my job (I'm 55 now). I had some inclinations in that direction last year, but know for sure this year. The problem I had was that my neurologist did not initially support that decision because of the reason you mentioned: he felt it was best for me to remain as active as possible for as long as possible, and if I could continue working, even at reduced efficiency, I should. I finally convinced him that the stress of my job (high school English teacher) was probably doing more harm than good, and that I had many plans to stay active after retirement. Actually, my list of post-retirement avocations is too long to be realistic, but that's okay. The problem we all face is that we have to retire before applying for a disability retirement. Then what happens if we're denied? I won't be elgible for a service retirement for five more years, which I won't make on the job anyway, so I've decided to go for it. For me the question is one of quality. I've been able to get by the past two years with the help and indulgence of my students, but it's not fair to them to have a part-time teacher. And I hate being less effective than I used to be when there are other things I can do well, albeit at my own pace. I think this is an individual decision, but each of us probably know when the time has come. Of course, there are those good days when I feel I can hang in there longer, but they're occurring less often. On the other side of the coin, I've been reading about Stan Hamburger's successful pallidotomy (great news!) and wondering if something like that wouldn't buy me more time on the job. I'd hate to quit a job I enjoy only to then be able to perform. As far as telling co-workers, I'd do it. I told mine as soon as I knew, because my symptoms were obvious and knew everyone was concerned. I've been more selective about telling my students, though word gets around and they probably all know. I encountered only one rather negative reaction: a former principal who asked immediately when I planned to resign. I told him I didn't know because I couldn't tell how quickly I would progress. Ironically, he developed diabetes and had to retire last year, while I'm still on the job. I do feel it eliminated me from other positions I might have gotten otherwise, but it's hard to tell. I don't talk about my pd often at work, but when it's relevant, I mention it. Others don't, perhaps because they don't want to upset me, but when I initiate the discussion they feel more free to talk about it. On the whole, people are bound to notice something and if you don't tell them they may think it's worse than it is. Once again, it's a personal decision and everyone's circumstances are different. I hope this helps. I wish you luck. Pat Schark