Problem:
Get up, use the bathroom, get dressed.
Assumptions:
Start from a horizontal postion in bed
Obtaining a seated position while in bed is not possible
Lifting your own body weight is not possible with any
combination of arms and/or legs
You cannot stand, squat, or otherwise stay on your feet for any
length of time. Your leggs/feet will not support your weight.
No grab bars, ropes, lifts, or other simular aids are available
Human/animal assistance is not available unless a fall to the
floor is imminent in which case help may arrive in time.
You can lift your hips enough to make adjustments in hip position
(less than one inch from the mattress)
Rolling over is possible, but only from back to side and side to
back
Movement is slow, but rapid enough to allow accurate
adjustments in body position and balance
A wheelchair is available and within easy reach
A plastic bucket (with lid attached and not removeable)
is within easy reach. This bucket is wide and strong enough
to support your weight easily. The bucket is tall enough to
allow your feet to rest firmly on the floor.
The bucket will not move unless moved by you
The top of the matress is one hand's width above the top of the
bucket and half that distance above the seat of the wheelchair
You have control of all muscles required to solve this problem.
However, you have not taken your meds so your writing hand and
arm are amusing themselves with an intermittant tremor.
Success:
You have solved this problem when;
You achieve an upright, seated, mobile position off of the bed
You use the toilet
You have put on, pulled up, and fastened your
trousers/pants/slacks/jeans (whatever your culture determines
is most difficult). No dresses, skirts, or kilts allowed.
You have seated yourself in the wheelchair
You have left the toilet seat in the position most desired by
your mate (I aquired this skill before marriage. It is
learnable.)
Failure:
You remain in bed till your mate comes and asks why you're
still there. She/he will probably assist you, but the
resulting prolonged lack of conversation....
You get bored. There is no TV, no books, you can't reach the
radio, the computer is in the other room, and the cat
prefers walking on your mate rather than you.
Nature calls. The call will be urgent and you may not have time
to respond properly. Up side, you will not be bored. Down
side, you are gonna have a mess on your hands.
You hit the deck. The floor is not a comfy place and one or
more of the following will apply.
There are creepy crawlies under the bed. You will not be
bored.
The cat will come to find out why you are on the floor.
Noses/whiskers/claws in odd places is entertaining. You
will not be bored (and neither will the cat)
Your mate comes to determine the reason for the sudden
major earthquake. The resulting attempt at your rescue
will require hours. You will not be bored.
Nature calls. Oh well, some days are like that. You will
not be bored.
Puppy
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