Here are some helpful terms to assist in the proposed evaluation: ------- Forwarded Message Follows ------- From: Gregory Gunn <[log in to unmask]> Date: Tue, 2 Apr 1996 17:05:03 -0500 (EST) To: [log in to unmask] Subject: ** Dictionary of Evaluation Comments \\// ~~~~o00o~(,,)~o00o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ () DISTRIBUTED BY: "THE INTERNET FUNNYBONE" \__/ Dictionary of Evaluation Comments ===================================================================================================================================================================== Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement. QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors. TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited. TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors. INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors. STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk. TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut. APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job. A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused. NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college. EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together. SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life. CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared. METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker. DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice. JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky. MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob. KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes. STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn. GETS ALONG WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward. SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid. Turns in work on time. IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else. ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip. REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed. HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way. ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do. HAPPY: Paid too much. WELL ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork. COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps. CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Pain in the ass. WILL GO FAR: Relative of management. SHOULD GO FAR: Please. USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher. VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work. USES RESOURSES WELL: Delagates everything. DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated. \\// ~'\ \\|// HUMOR ON THE INTERNET /`~o00o~(,,)~o00o~~~ \ (o o) Compliments of: / () \/`~~oOOo~(_)~oOOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'\/ \__/ The ORACLE SERVICE: The INTERNET FUNNYBONE: - Steven Willoughby - - Greg Gunn - <[log in to unmask]> <[log in to unmask]> _________ / \ For information on either of these lists please | 0 0 | contact the LISTOWNERS above or check out the WEB | o | site on the left. The ORACLE is a comprehensive | \___/ | mailer to distribute lots of files, the highlights \_________/ of which are at the WEB site. The FunnyBone List is a "Joke of the Day" service" and best suits folks with a limited amount of time or mailbox space. ORACLE WWW Site: < http://www.synapse.net/~oracle/Contents/HumorArch.html > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mieke Koppen Tucker Bishop's University Director, Writing Centre Lennoxville, Que. Writing Proficiency Programme Canada J1M 1Z7 819-822-9600, ext.400 Fax: 819-822-9661 home: 819-823-7273 [log in to unmask]