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Here are some helpful terms to assist in the proposed evaluation:

------- Forwarded Message Follows -------

From:          Gregory Gunn <[log in to unmask]>
Date:          Tue, 2 Apr 1996 17:05:03 -0500 (EST)
To:            [log in to unmask]
Subject:       ** Dictionary of Evaluation Comments

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          ()         DISTRIBUTED BY:  "THE INTERNET FUNNYBONE"
         \__/
                      Dictionary of Evaluation Comments
             =====================================================================================================================================================================

   Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really
saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations
s/he keeps cranking out.

      AVERAGE:
     Not too bright.

      EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED:
     Has committed no major blunders to date.

      ACTIVE SOCIALLY:
     Drinks heavily.

      ZEALOUS ATTITUDE:
     Opinionated.

      CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH:
     Still one step ahead of the law.

      UNLIMITED POTENTIAL:
     Will stick with us until retirement.

      QUICK THINKING:
     Offers plausible excuses for errors.

      TAKES PRIDE IN WORK:
     Conceited.

      TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS:
     Buys drinks for superiors.

      INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION:
     Knows more than superiors.

      STERN DISCIPLINARIAN:
     A real jerk.

      TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS:
     Knows when to keep mouth shut.

      APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC:
     Finds someone else to do the job.

      A KEEN ANALYST:
     Thoroughly confused.

      NOT A DESK PERSON:
     Did not go to college.

      EXPRESSES SELF WELL:
     Can string two sentences together.

      SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB:
     Miserable home life.

      CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL:
     Scared.

      METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL:
     A nitpicker.

      DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP:
     Has a loud voice.

      JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND:
     Lucky.

      MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE:
     A snob.

      KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR:
     Knows lots of dirty jokes.

      STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES:
     Stubborn.

      GETS ALONG WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE:
     A coward.

      SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE:
     Stupid.

     Turns in work on time.

      IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL:
     Wanted by no-one else.

      ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS:
     An office gossip.

      REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT:
     Lazy and hard-headed.

      HARD WORKER:
     Usually does it the hard way.

      ENJOYS JOB:
     Needs more to do.

      HAPPY:
     Paid too much.

      WELL ORGANIZED:
     Does too much busywork.

      COMPETENT:
     Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.

      CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN:
     Pain in the ass.

      WILL GO FAR:
     Relative of management.

      SHOULD GO FAR:
     Please.

      USES TIME EFFECTIVELY:
     Clock watcher.

      VERY CREATIVE:
     Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.

      USES RESOURSES WELL:
     Delagates everything.

      DESERVES PROMOTION:
     Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.


                                                         \\//
~'\          \\|//    HUMOR ON THE INTERNET      /`~o00o~(,,)~o00o~~~
   \         (o o)        Compliments of:       /         ()
    \/`~~oOOo~(_)~oOOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'\/         \__/

      The ORACLE SERVICE:               The INTERNET FUNNYBONE:
     - Steven Willoughby -                   - Greg Gunn -
      <[log in to unmask]>              <[log in to unmask]>
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Mieke Koppen Tucker                     Bishop's University
Director, Writing Centre                Lennoxville, Que.
Writing Proficiency Programme           Canada J1M 1Z7
819-822-9600, ext.400                   Fax: 819-822-9661
home: 819-823-7273                      [log in to unmask]