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Margaret Tuchman Hi! you wrote <<<I need a quick "reality check". Would you mind responding to a mini survey? Please answer the following: 1. total #hrs awake 2. total #hrs nap during day 3. total #hrs un-interrupted sleep during night 4. total #hrs "on" on a good day 5. total #hrs "on" on a bad day 6. average length of time for meds. to kick in 7. when in an "off" period, do you persist and attempt to remain "active" (that sure makes me laugh, if only my mask would permit it)or do you relax and wait it out? 8. what is the most prevalent emotion you have when having a BAD day? My responses are: 1. 18-20 2. 0 3. 4-6 4. 9 5. 4 6. 60 minutes 7. yes, I push myself. I am not sure why? I do feel restless, even when bradykinetic. 8. Frustration-anger Thanks for listening, I already feel better! If there are responses, I will post results. Regards, Margaret Tuchman (54yrs., dx 1980, sinemet 9x25/100, permax 5x.25mg)>>> My engineering analyst modus operandi took me to "critical reading" and noting that your statement of the "problem" - that is, your questions list - gives me an insight that you may be pushing (I understand restless & frustration & anger) rather than relaxing. If you mull it over, you may recognize your own data contains your (subconscious partially - maybe obscured) "prescription" as being contained in two sentences: I already feel better! and: I am not sure why? Your question 8 asks for most prevalent emotion. You listed two (not sure?). The context of your uncertainty is actually that you are not sure why you push yourself. It is culturally "bad" not to keep your nose to the grindstone - not be a workaholic - rest during the daylight - do "nothing". Maybe your psychological "parent" (super-ego, self image, ?) is distorted by learned dys-functional "perfectionism". Many of us have not learned to know our self and remove the dys-functional distortions of reality. Only one day in one's history can be the best. It is absurd to always do your best - give your all - et cetera. Seek to do what you really want to do. This requires the three steps: observe (gather data) judge (decide) act The first two of these are "doing nothing"! Actually, you are using the neural networks homo sapiens is distinguishable by. This can be improved by using paper and pencil or a word processor to clarify your feelings; thoughts behind them; beliefs that are relevant; and - most importantly - attempting to re-state and undistort each of the beliefs and facts and thinking. By the time you get this act done, you will feel better. Your brain chemistry will reward your insights with some of those endorphins or serotonin. You may feel peak experience - mania - euphoric. Wow, I have changed! My answers are that I sleep a little longer, occasionally doze during the day, usually tend to undermedicate some, have dystonia most mornings and other times more often lately, push myself to get these messages done in place of doing more walking or other exercise, do not lose it very often since I have un-distorted most all my beliefs and nourish my spunky attitude. (I will append my years ago essay about that here and quit for now.) Spunky People Our bodies 'wear out'. Take care that this process does not get accelerated by your 'indiscretions'. Chance will place you in harm's way many times on it's own. You are foolish to take chances - especially when the potential gain for you is insignificant compared to the hazard. In other words, poisoning your homeostatic system with booze, other drugs-chemicals to reduce inhibitions is foolish. There are ways to reduce your inhibitions harmlessly. Increased self-esteem will also decrease inhibitions. These often have partial origin in early-life-events when powerful-righteous adults told you to "Be Quiet!", "Shut Your Mouth!", or "You can't do anything right!". Several of my older friends are examples that more should emulate. They remain independent and are proud that they have made their own way. Not all are still able to accomplish every task they wish to do. The wise ones have accepted help, but they continue to care and do what they can - for themselves and others. They have learned-know that loving-caring is the essence of their personal happiness. I invite the reader to consider Professor Stephen Hawking. His body has been a 'disaster' for many years - due to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (Lou Gehrig's disease). He is a leading theoretical physicist and professor. The fear of dying may be part of the causes of the current phenomenon that is extant - much of one's medical costs are paid during the last year of life. A second major factor is the "practice" of doctors to do all that can be done. I am compelled by my honesty and concern for the "common good" to say that greed appears prominent as motivator. The excuse of avoiding malpractice law suits is somewhat real, but integrity, honor, honesty, professionalism, et cetera and loving-caring should each be more important to a physician than is money! Living longer may be worth much, but wasting wealth is immoral at all times in our lives. It seems a poor bargain, for instance, that my father 'lived' his final ten weeks in pain and anguish in hospitals; with Mom and family being miserable in sympathy and frustration. "Spunky" people are young in spirit - pay little attention relatively to their body's age or complaints - grow every day - change for the better. We live, laugh, love, give, learn-change and remain happy - even euphoric. We hope to accept .. and complete .. the termination of life with dignity. ron 1936, dz PD 1984 Ronald F. Vetter <[log in to unmask]> http://www1.ridgecrest.ca.us/~rfvetter/