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Thank you all for your responses. Today I met my mother's neurologist who
said he does not generally use the categories. I think I am beginning to
understand why. They are somewhat variable and also now that my mother is
advanced, that is pretty much enough to know. He said he talks in terms of
early, middle advanced. It was her regular family physician who started our
week from H- by anouncing that she believed my mother has 6 wks to a yr to
live and also that we should meet with her and tell her that (by the way,
neurologist says that he thinks we cannot predict this, and anyways we are
not meeting with this doctor for our own reasons). well, in the meantime,
she pushed so quickly to have her sent to a "nursing home" and this became
a huge mess. the place was awful, something that should be closed down. we
have a list of complaints most of which are completely unexcusable.
Uncleanliness, neglect, lack of healthy ways of dealing with basics such as
changing a diaper, medications given at all different times, etc etc. well,
it took a week, but now we have her on a trial basis at a very small board
and care home. The woman in charge is taking her because she cares and
wants to try and help, although she is very honest that my mom may require
more care than she can provide. she is probably going to hire an extra
person for at night just for my mother. it will be costly, but as far as we
can tell it would cost 3 times as much to have 24 hr. care at home.
now that i am back and read the descriptions of the stages of pd i can see
that she is in fact in the most advanced stages. it feels like there was no
forwarning it all happened so quickly. In a few weeks we are going to see
Dr. Cheryl Waters at USC and i crave the outside (of Kaiser) specialist
input. She really has never had much. She is so frightened and unhappy and
that is what makes it so difficult.
Margaret, thank you so much for your note. I cannot believe what wonderful
people are on this listserv, that complete strangers are out there thinking
about each other and helping each other. I will write or call the places
you wrote and see if more input helps. I do talk to someone, for my Self,
however that is different. I feel such a need to do something.
Alan, I didn't get a chance to call COPS, however ironically someone had
also referred my father to them, so I will definitely be calling them. I
spent most of the time trying to help my father, who is a nervous wreck, my
brother who is depressed, my mother the patient who is scared, sad and one
helluva trooper for getting thru this last week, and finally myself, who is
well, you know. and then there was all that time on hold listening to
hospital recordings, trying to get pieces of paper here or there, doctors
to talk to us, etc.
sorry for the length here, I wish i could help everyone somehow. I sent
lots of letters re. udall and info to lots of people many of whom were very
supportive.
debbie,
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