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The first time I 'met' Alan Bonander was on the Parkinson's bulletin board in Prodigy. Ken Bernstein told me about this 'virtual' support group which he hoped could someday be transformed into a vital information network for the Parkinson's community. Alan was the soul of the bulletin board. No matter what the question, Alan had a well-informed, well-thought out, compassionate answer. He didn't have to answer every question, especially the frequently asked ones, but he took on this responsibility day after day like someone else might put on a comfortable pair of shoes. Alan threw himself headlong into the effort to help people with PD all over the country, and then the world, through computerized communication. His caring 'bedside' manner and pleasant sense of humor established a healthy standard of etiquette that remains an important part of online PD dialogue today. Why else would so many people who had never met him in person consider him a true friend? Shortly after reading Alan's posts I began receiving his Movers & Shakers Newsletter and realized that it was the best written and most comprehensive newsletter in the country. How did this one man have the time to lead a support group, talk to doctors and researchers about their latest findings and treatments, publish a multi-page newsletter and still answer any number of questions on line each day in a satisfying informative matter? I wondered if he ever slept. Could he possibly do all this while suffering from PD? I finally had an opportunity to meet 'the man behind the font' at the first Parkinson's Action Network forum in Washington, DC. He wasn't quite what I expected. Certainly pleasant enough, but with his western style vest, bolo tie and a bit of a paunch he looked different than he 'sounded'. But he was every bit the warm, caring and intelligent man that I had come to know through his letters. >From then on we communicated regularly. We talked about research, treatments, politics, unity and the many people in the Parkinson's community who had the potential to move mountains if only they could work together. As time passed Alan took his role as 'patient advocate' more and more seriously. This often put him at odds with some people in Parkinson's organizations and the established medical community. Despite the difficulties, he never let his 'patients' down. I often had a concern that Alan might go to far and be accused of practicing medicine, but he knew where to draw the line and when to suggest that a patient consult their neurologist about a touchy issue. Alan knew more about Parkinson's than 95% of the neurologists in this country, and yet he knew enough not to be negative things about the less than perfect state of PD care. What Alan taught me was the importance of being one's own informed decision maker in the PD process. He showed that folks with PD can live far more productive lives if they take an active role in learning about and treating their illness. I remember when Alan talked to me about a young patient who had committed suicide a few days earlier. It was his first 'loss' and he was devistated. He took the incident very personally, as much as any doctor would. He second-guessed himself about what he could have done to prevent it. I remember Alan intervening on behalf of an incarcerated PD patient whose jailers had little understanding of Parkinson's. He went to bat again and again for this person because no one else was willing to do it. I remember Alan wistfully complaining about the pain of comforting recently diagnosed patients because the medical community was ill-equipped for the job and not sufficiently motivated to take on this important role. This was where he felt he belonged. At times Alan confided to me that he wasn't quite up to the task he had set for himself. He apologized for not doing more. He felt terrible about cutting back on his assumed duties in order to care for his own health. At times he was on top of the world. At times he could barely drag himself out of bed. The health of so many others was more important to him. Some folks talk about the ironic positives that come out of the experience of living with Parkinson's; taking life more slowly; appreciating the simplest daily actions and thoughts. From what I saw of Alan's experience, Parkinson's provided him with an opportunity to help thousands of individuals all over the world. He became part of a huge loving family whose simple E-mailed 'Thank You's were his greatest reward. His help and honesty and kindness will be sorely missed. Rest in peace, Alan. -Ken Aidekman