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Boy am I ever confused. I find this disease more puzzling everyday. Last week Fuad and I were very depressed. It had been a year since his stroke and he seemed to be getting worse rapidly. Things that he could do easily six months ago he wasn't able to do. He was confused most of the day especially after his second dose of meds. He was becoming more and more dependent on me and I felt like I was in quicksand and the harder I tried the deeper I/we sank. This roller coaster ride seemed never ending. My neighbor even commented on how much worse he was getting. On our granddaughters birthday, Tuesday, I was so depressed that I cried all day. So I sent Matthew and Fuad to the party without me. I didn't want to spoil it for her. On Saturday Matthew went to help his sister with the Summer Festival for the town. Fuad and I were suppose to go and enjoy things, but I just could not face pushing his wheel chair around in the heat. We stayed home and really relaxed all day. We found nice classical and easy listening music on the internet and played around with those all day. On Sunday we did pretty much the same thing, although I did have to go to a client's house for two hours in the evening. On Monday morning he got up early and made it downstairs before taking his meds. We had a very busy day and I was not feeling well at all. So I went to bed very early and Fuad stayed up very late. Yesterday, morning I slept late and was in a hurry to take Matt to band camp so I let Fuad sleep till I got back. He slept until 10:00 (he didn't get his 7 AM dose until then) He was so alert and able to function. After breakfast he walked on the treadmill for over nine minutes without stumbling. He had not been able to go more than 3 minutes without stumbling the week before. We were very busy and distracted all day and forgot his noon meds which I figured he would take about 3 PM. It was 7 PM before we even thought about them. So I didn't give him his second dose of Eldepryl because it was too late in the day for it. In the afternoon Fuad even attempted to converse on the chat channel. He didn't do much, but it is a start. Later in the evening around 8 PM he tried walking of the treadmill again and did 6 minutes without a stumble and then did another 1.5 minutes before he became too tired. WOW, what a difference. This morning we were up at 7 and I thought that Fuad would not be able to move. Surprisingly, he was not even as stiff as usual. He was able to get out of bed with very little assistance and talked more clearly than he had in months. He dressed and came down the stairs by himself in just a half hour. He is thinking more clearly and the shoulder pain that is usually the first indication of under medication is not there. After breakfast he walked on the treadmill for 13 minutes with just two stumbles. (What I mean by stumbles is that when his stride gets too short he goes into the stutter step mode and must stop and restart.) Then he did his stretching exercises and took a short nap. He is still clear thinking and better able to talk. I don't know if this is just a hopeful up time or whether the accidental reduction in meds shows us that he doesn't need as much. One thing is for sure. When he is clear headed he is able to walk and talk much better. How do I figure this out. I don't want him to have one mg more or less than he actually needs. Maybe the relaxation and less stress has helped. I let him know today that he is too intelligent to let his mind vegetate. Well, any way the roller coaster ride is still continuing and we're not getting off. Barb and Fuad The chicken farmers from Maryland's Eastern Shore -- PK