This morning as I was watching one of the last of my hair strands make it's lonely way down to THE DRAIN I said to myself..."good morning handsome and how are we this morning?" {what is this WE s...?} This could be a real problem so before we [Thare IT is again..WE...I've been reading an old Zane Grey novel and they really say things like "Thare" as in " thare it is again"so all you frustrated school teachers can put your red pens away because I don't make spelling errors... you thought i was going to plant one right here.. Didn't you?] Where was I? oh ya In the shower.Please go back to line 3,word 8..before I start singing "OH,What a Beautiful Morning Oh what a beautiful day. I got a beautiful feeling every thing is going my way.."etc Can you picture all of us starting the day off with such a song .why..sales of Prozac and other anti depressants would fall off,,Wall st would drop 1000 points, drug firms would lay off thousands, world hunger would ensue and G.M.and Ford and what's the other one would put on fund raising benefits for starving Hollywood actors,singers.etc.Millions would be diagnosed as suffering from depression, sales of prozac etc would soar etc,etc.So to avoid that lets talk some more about depression. The Digest has shared a lot about it lately so here is my 2 cents worth about depression and other popular Digest issues. Depression...Let me digress for just a moment...A resent article in BRAIN caught my attension.Maybe you read it..."Effects of levodopa.and viscosity on the velocity and accuracy of visually guided tracking in Parkinson disease."..."...viscosity on the velocity..." YA tell me more. One more digression and I'll share my thoughts about depression..Every one knows about BINTI? The gorilla that saved the young boy's life at the Chicago Zoo. Remarkable, wouldn't you say? The downside is that several people, including "Experts" felt that Binti exhibited a lot of "human"characteristics, like "compassion". What a load of crap!Why do we [ops] have to devalue what Binti did by atributing it to a "human trait" With the exception of you and me when was the last time you saw "human" compassion.HEADLINES...Man buries litter of pups and leaves them to die...Pups mother digs them up alive and is seem licking them....Mother Cat dashes into blazing building many times to save her new born litter. She is badly burned herself but is seen licking the young offspring.When I finish this brief posting I"m going to speak with my local represenative and ask her to submit a bill to the Mass. House of Reps authorizing that Binti be appointed as head of the Mass.Dept of Social Services.Local Zoos would become foster homes run by good gorillas and the current DSS staff could work on the banana acquisition task force or retire with full benifits.If you haven't already deleted this posting you will surely realize that having an animal directing a branch of govt.is not a new idea. Have you had cause to call some politician a horse's arse?[See previous note re:Zane Grey].And what about all the donkeys and elephants who are taking T.V.time away from all the reruns we could be enjoying these past 2 weeks.Makes me want to spit! BINTI for President! SERIOUS STUFF BELOW ............................................................................ ........................... DEPRESSION If you haven't experienced it you will in all likelihood.It makes the rounds and knocks on each of our doors. Much like Santa Clause's evil twin.We experence it in different ways. Some feel it as a low throbbing constant that has been there as long as they can remember...others feel acutely and their wailing and their tears are available.For some it is a genetic or/and chemical fault line...others feel it as a reaction to some loss or being told some lousy news like, you,George,have Parkinson disease. This is called a reactive depression. Some people are able to address their feelings and grieve. These are the lucky ones.Some only experience pain of some sort in their limbs or organs. These folk deny being depressed and denial is a good initial defense against an overwhelming piece of news but their bodies are crying out and some time or other they must acknowledge their pain. Some people seek relief via various medications...others medicate themselves with alcohol and other street drugs.Still others talk about it. They are the lucky or the smart ones. For me depression has been a life long companion, never far from my awareness,but put aside for a while by my workaholic style. MY first job at age 8. First in my family to earn a collage degree..only one to receive a masters degree.First to own a home ,first to own a brand new car ,to travel to Europe, to live with a "significant other"but I coulda ben the Champ! Something always cut the edge off my senses.I could have picked up a PhD, traveled wider, learned to dance, could have married...You know...Get a life! But I was always had what is known as Melancholia. The kind of depression that resides in my bones. I kept it at bay by working a lot and achieving many worthy goals and had good relations as a son,a brother,a friend,a colleague, a professional, a member of the community.Fourteen years ago I was given a diagnosis of PD. I had a life-long famiilial tremor which was progressive so when I was told that I had PD I wasn't surprised but boy was I surprised! And two years ago when I had to give up work at age 56 I was DEPRESSED. SO what to do...As a clinical social worker in a mental health setting I had learned a great deal about depression from my clients.AFter a period of being bummed and angry I came to understand that depressed people are very often really honest with themselves.We don't b.s.our selves, a spade is a spade.I tried to embrace the depression, make it a friend.Then I focused on improving my nutrition, getting enough of the right kind of exercise,learned about medications and took responsiability for them. worked at improving my relationships;and continued to fiddle with fringe treatment experiences.... nothing really weird...rather read a good book.. IT wasn't easy, no one told me it would be.Shortly after I left work I was hospitalized for a month following a major freezing episode.That was depressing.Some time before that I had to stop taking sinemet because the side effects were severe,really unrelenting.That was depressing.Took a 6 month holiday from sinemet which proved to be helpful.Couldn't enjoy my usual activities...like cooking and walking in snow-storms. And then along came a Pallidotomy in August of 1995 and things really improved and I was able to resume many activities but I was unabe to return to work.In a e-mail conversation with Dr.Alterman of NYU he noted that 85-90% of cases a unilateral pallidotomy is sufficient. But I'm bilaterally impaired. my untreated side is progressingly worse and the meds are not doing their thing.so I looking at the surgical options and here is where I need your wisdom.Do I go for another pallidotomy? The first one is holding up well. Or do I go in the direction of Deep Brain Stimulation[DBS] I've heard much via this fine group.I'll be sending another message re:serious stuff in a day or two and I will outline my understanding of both options and perhaps you will wish to comment.THANKS for listening. My very best George Lussier [log in to unmask] [log in to unmask]