 |
 |
Deanna, the impetus for getting your new dad-in-law (sounds like a real winner) <NOT!> must come from one or both of two places: 1. your mother-in-law MUST put her foot down (not all that easy, either emotionally OR physically, I realize) and tell the turkey <uhhhhh... sorry, but I calls 'em as I sees 'em!) to SHAPE UP - to insist upon his making the effort to contribute to her quallity of life, and/or 2. her family must be the ones to bring SUCH pressure - continually - on him that the same is accomplished. And one last thing.. I'd bet ya dollars to donuts that if you step in as an advocate for your mom-in-law as you're doing, EVEN THO it's the right thing to do when no one else is, you'll get shot down by the rest of the family. They'll do it because they recognize that YOU... a new member of their family have got more kindness and compassion in you towards one of their own than they do.. and they'll feel guilty about it (tho not enough to take steps to remedy the situation... I bet). I tip my virtual hat at ya, and say YOU GO,GIRL! <smile> Barb Mallut, [log in to unmask] ---------- From: PARKINSN: Parkinson's Disease - Information Exchange Network on behalf of DEANNA BARTUCCIO Sent: Thursday, August 29, 1996 7:07 AM To: Multiple recipients of list PARKINSN Subject: Denial hello, a while ago I wrote about my mom-in-law whose husband began raving that she was cured by her PD because she had gone to masseus(sp?) in Trinidad. This reaction, as we all found out later was a sarcastic reaction. I do not understand him. He is not very considerate to her needs. He won't let her do much that she enjoys because he says she can't because of her PD (won't drive her places to visit people, etc...--but it is because he doesn't like it or doesn't want to do it.) But, he will drag her everywhere in order to do the things he likes. I am a new daughter in law (getting married in a month) and don't have the place, I feel, to make waves. My fiance and I try to take her out and do things with and for her that she likes to make up for it. I guess I am writting all this because I need to get it out and I don't really know what else to do. Thanks for listening! Deanna (Suraiya 55/+11)