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Hi Mark....A group of us UK YAPP&Rs went to a very good conference in Germany in May and met loads of German, and other European young onset Parkies. The group is known as Club U40 and is organised by a lady called : Eva Schmoeger( speaks excellent English) Friedrich-Naumann-Str .37 76187 Karlsruhe Telefon 0721\71439 There are groups in Hannover, Rhein-Main, Stuttgart, Nordhessen, Karlsruhe, Hamburg Schleswig-Holstein, Sauerland, Ruhrgebiet, Sachsen-Anhalt, Leipsig. ( Wolfgang speaks excellent English) I cannot understand anymore of their leaflet but if you need anymore info I do have the group telephone numbers! It takes awhile ( as long as five years) to accept you have PD, so you are not alone there. Keep trying to get your medication right and then you too will see things in a more cheery light. Come and visit YAPP&Rs in the UK and we will try and cheer you up!You need and English pint rather than that other stuff you drink over there! regards Emma Another new member letting himself be known and heard. I've been reading/listening for several months, >even introduced myself once (that's when there were so many lost or refused messages). So, let's try again, > I'm 44 and was diagnosed with PD 3 yrs ago, so I guess I'm in the "young PD" group. I have lived and >worked in Germany (for the U.S. Army - civilian) for the past 13 yrs. I went to a doctor in 93 thinking that >maybe I had diabetes because I was getting "shaky" around lunch time, especially when I worked thru (skipped) lunch. I had one other symptom: my left hand wasn't able to scrub my hair - it kind of froze. All the tests for diabetes were negative, so I was referred to a neurologist, who said "PD." I've seen 3 Army Neurologists and went to the Emory Clinic (June 96). I kept hoping one of them would say "nope, it's NOT PD!" None of these doctors had any good news or suggestions, only hope that something new would be coming along some day. The Emory doctor did say that I should be doing more with med's, such as agonists, so the discussions on what to take, possible side effects, complications, etc. has really opened my eyes and given me food for thought. > The other topics that have been right on the button for me have been: DEPRESSION, sleep problems, protein and being "on & off," tears, and family issues. I currently go through a lot of helplessness and hopelessness, thinking about it only progressing and getting worse - not a happy thought! I also know that I'm blocking a lot of sadness and fear, and avoid dealing with those feelings VERY well. Several friends and co-workers know that I have PD, but most don't. Why? Job and needing to feel that I can still function without special considerations. > Family background: my father was diagnosed with PD in the early 50's. He didn't want to become a "vegetable (as he said)," so he looked for any experimental programs he could find. He ended up in Iowa, had 2 brain surgeries, and ended up with brain damage, and became the "vegetable" that he didn't want to become. He died in 1962 from medical complications. I know, PD isn't hereditary! > I feel like I have terminal cancer and am slowly withering away. My family and friends look at me the same way - they ask me "how I'm doing" all the time. They see me shuffling my feet, my right hand shaking, or just thinking in slow motion and they want to assist me, like I'm crippled. I don't get mad at them, I just feel ashamed, tainted, embarrassed, frustrated, anger and mostly lost. Suicide has crossed my mind, but I want to be around and wouldn't want to put that additional burden on my family. Support groups just aren't available over here, at least not in English. > The plan is to transfer back to the U.S. next year. That's me and thanks for listening. > >Mark >email: [log in to unmask] > >