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WATER Millie lent across the bar to speak to me and I caught a whiff of an unusually pungent scent. 'Like your scent Millie' - 'Oil of Wintergreen Darling, one of my gentleman admirers gave it me' she said with a flirtatious twink in her in her large blue eyes.'Told me it was relaxing- as if I need relaxing- only when Snody starts up' Snody was the ultimate Parkinson bore. You name it he'd had it restless legs, constipation, anxiety, halucinations, hypertension, hypotension and that's just for starters.He was also a self appointed expert on every PD topic. He had tried every drug and when he had a few pints of Bard inside him was likely to wander into the Off Bar, corner some immobile pathetic person and could be heard saying in a loud slurry voice 'Now what you ought to be taking Bill is -----' 'Mind you he hasn't been to bad the last week or two as he has been drinking water instead of Bard' 'Don't believe it I said. How come?' ' He's not the only one, there's a lot of them come in here for a glass of water after that Miss Pring down at the library obtained a book about water' ' Which book is that ' I said -' Your Body's Many Cries for Water from the European Studies Institute replied Millie who besides being a stunner had a remarkably retentive memory and it was a great shame that she was unable to complete her university course after she came back to take over the pub after her father died. Poor old Syd he had Parkinsons and used to spill more beer than he served - how he kept in business no one knows. I digress. 'Tell me more ' I said ' I would take a lot of persuading to drink water instead of Bard - Top my glass up please Millie' Millie slipped into her serious lecture mode ' This guy Batmanghelidj who is an Iranian but apparently trained as a doctor in England has been putting his controversial views forward for a number of years and was first published in the States in 1992. In a nutshell he believes that a lot of medical conditions are due to body dehydration.Beer,coffe , tea and sodas like coke are no substitute for plain tap water principally because of their diuretic effect.Children are not educated to drink water and become dependant on manufactured soft drinks.Apparently everyone should be drinking at least 3 pints of tap water every day and this is good for a number of pains including dyspepsia, rheuematoid arthritis, low back pain, headaches, stress and dehydration, high blood pressure, asthma and various allergies.' 'Sounds too good to be true ' I said. 'Has this guy got shares in a water company? and I wouldn't think that Betty Knut would think much of it.' Betty Knut was a sort of community witch doctor who lived alone except for a black cat and dispensed various herbal and holistic remedies and including yes - snake droppings. ' Betty came in here the other day and had her usual glass of carrot juice and more or less said that as water is free it couldn't do you a lot of good not like her expensive remedies. So I said to her ' Well Betty , water is not free in this pub - try some it might do you a lot of good' 'I think I'll stick to Bard' I said ' One for the road Millie'