Ron Reiner,
I very much appreciate your comments on the Pope's comment about PD.
Like you I was first diagnosed with PD at age 48. I am now 62 and retired as
fully disabled. I can still type, as you can see, but when my tremor attacks
me, or when fatigue runs me down, I am worth very little.
For the past four or five years I have referred to and thought of my PD
as a gift. This annoys my family, especially my wife. PD is not a good gift.
I am not pleased with it at all. It has robbed me of my independence, taken
pleasure from my life, stripped away my self-confidence, sapped my energy,
depressed my family, separated me from my friends, driven me from my profession,
and darkened my future.
But if PD is not a gift, what is it? A curse? A punishment? An accident?
An elaborate cosmic joke? I must plead innocence to escape deserving
condemnation or punishment, and I am no Job. I must postulate the existence of
an imperfect supernatural design to raise the possibility of accidents. That's
exceptionally unstable ground to tread; the good stuff that comes our way might
be accidental also. A joke requires a Joker, another difficult logical trapeze
act.
All my life I have been given good gifts: except for PD, excellent
health; raised in the American middle class [hard to top]; loving wife and
children; intelligence; easy going manner, and on and on and on. I have
accepted and enjoyed these gifts with patrician ease. I have never even looked
for anyone to thank. Having supped with the Gods all my life, should I now
complain that my dessert wine is bitter?
This line of reasoning does not make my symptoms any less aggravating,
nor does it relieve the terror of an unknown future. I sleep neither better nor
worse for calling my PD a gift. I am not comforted. Do I still complain, and
loudly? You bet I do.
Saying that rain falls on the just and the unjust alike hardly merits
high praise for originality, but it's as close as I've gotten to facing a bad
situation honestly. For me PD has been a mirror into which I am forced to
stare, unblinking, sometimes trying to see, sometimes trying to avoid seeing,
who I really am.
George Andes 62/14 and still counting
A couple of days ago I was listening to NPR (National Public Radio) news
when they started discussing the Pope and His PD-like symptoms. Although
the Vatican has not confirmed a diagnosis of PD (or anything else) the Pope
was quoted as saying that He "considers his affliction to be a gift of
suffering from God."
Did I understand this correctly? Or was this quote referring to something else?
I hope that I heard this wrong. If the Pope is afflicted with PD, He has an
opportunity to do some good for His fellow sufferers by underscoring both
the physical and emotional havoc this disease can wreak. However, by
referring to it as a "gift from God" He is doing all of us a great
disservice. I understand the metaphor and appreciate his stoicism. I'm
sure it gives some sufferers strength; but it minimizes the severity of the
problem in the eyes of the non-afflicted.
I've only been diagnosed for a year and my physical symptoms are quite
bearable. But the emotional trauma for me has been devastating. I am
constanly worried about supporting my family, putting my kid through
college, being able to work etc. I may be a newbie at this but I do not
recognize PD as a "gift." I hope that I have the wherewithal to face this
and come out emotionally strengthened - but please don't call it a gift.
Ron Reiner (48 + 1yr)
Ron Reiner
