At 01:30 PM 10/20/96, Emma Bennion wrote:
>Here! here! David......time for another of your tales. Humour is so
>important to us all.
>
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Comments from test papers, essays, etc. submitted
to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school,
and college students:
-- H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water
-- To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube
-- When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide
-- Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water
-- The three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars
-- Blood flows down one leg and up the other
-- Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
expectoration
-- The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader
-- Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead
of the bull
-- Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes
them perspire
-- A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold
-- Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas
-- The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects
-- The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and
the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is
something to hitch meat to
-- A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two
molars, and eight cuspidors
-- The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends
towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight
-- A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is
-- Equator: a managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa
-- Germinate: to become a naturalized German
-- Liter: a nest of young puppies
-- Magnet: something you find crawling all over a dead cat
-- Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away
-- Planet: a body of earth surrounded by sky
-- Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot
-- Vacuum: a large, empty space where the pope lives
-- Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is
affirmative or negative
-- To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose
-- For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower then the body until the
heart stops
-- For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not
recovered, then kill him
-- For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in
your throat
-- To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow
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