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>From: [log in to unmask] (Don Summers) >Subject: Re: "Caregiver" > >>From: [log in to unmask] (Don Summers) >>Subject: Re: "Caregiver" >> >>Christina et al--- >> I am the marriedd 42+ years to q wife who suffers from Shy-Drager Syndrome. Her condition is much advanced and she requires a great deal of care. >>I am proud to be called her "primary caregiver" because that is exactly what and who I am! Certainly I would much rather be able to concentrate on our relationship as best friends, sexual partners, business partners, advisors dinner companions, winter bedwarmers etc. but our lives are now at a different stage. In our marriage commmittment, "in sickness and in health" means to me that "caregiving" is not just those nasty chores that I am now required to do >>but also all the times that we were able to enjoy together. Caregiving is an honorable committment for life! >> >> Don Summers >> [log in to unmask] >> >> >>>Hi Christina >>> >>>In message <m0vJ2Lp-000A8eC@zeus> PARKINSN@ listserv.utoronto.ca writes: >>>> I would like to say how I feel about the word caregiver. I brought this >>>> subject up a few years ago when I was a committee member with the Parkinsons >>>> society here. My feeling were then, and still are, I hate the word. I >>>> consider myself friend, partener, sole mate, love and wife. The word >>>> caregiver for me, and I can only speak for myself, implies I am just the >>>> help. >>> >>>Do you NOT give care? In the context of your partner's Parkinson's, AND >>>IN THAT CONTEXT ALONE, I return your question to you - WHAT ARE YOU? >>> >>>Yes of course you are all those other things, but those are in the >>>context of Friendship, (Marriage) Partnership, Mating, Love & >>>Uxoriousness. But, are you not ALSO, in the context of your own very >>>special PWP, a Caregiver, or as is more common here in UK, a Carer? >>> >>>Why do we have to rail against these trivia? I am a Parkinsonian, a PWP, >>>a "disabled person". I'm not proud of these labels, but in the context >>>of my occasional lack of ability, my need occasionally for special >>>treatment, my inability to work, even my access to this list, they >>>accurately describe where I am at. I am not proud of them, but neither >>>am I ashamed of them. >>> >>>Politically correct speech and euphemisms are destroying our ability to >>>communicate. Let us by all means say what we mean. If a black man thinks >>>of me as a "honky" or whatever, well so be it! I don't have to live with >>>him. And if I did, well, "sticks & stones may break my bones, but words >>>will never hurt me". >>> >>>> What would be an appropiate word to use in place of this word? I >>>> often wonder. >>> >>>There isn't one! What pleases you may offend my wife or vice versa. >>>Let's try to be straightforward, say what we really think, and apologise >>>if we inadvertantly offend someone. >>> >>>To my mind, the only reason for changing a label is if it doesn't carry >>>the right message. And in the context of multiple sufferers (PWPs) and >>>their multitude of wives, husbands, lovers, mistresses, sons, friends, >>>daughters, grandsons or whatever kind soul(s) put(s) up with them and >>>ease(s) their passage through life, that multitude is reasonably called, >>>in general, "caregivers". Leave it rest at that, I say. It's what they >>>(you) DO in common, one and another. >>> >>>-- >>>Jeremy Browne, Hampshire, UK >>>[log in to unmask] >>>Shaking Hands BBS, Fidonet 2:252/160 (+44 1252 626233, also FAX) >>> >>> >>