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First, I need to get something off my chest. I joined this group with realistic expectations of contributing. Perhaps i was too verbose, perhaps too brutally honest in describing what has happened to me. I wasn't bragging or whining (or didnt intend to. So many things I've asked the group''s opimion. For example exx periences of those having palllidotomies, one side or both. My dream of a cross country spr speaking tour to raise fuun funds and awareness. I asked g oops) for honest opinions and got deafening silence. Yet we all seem ready tto dip into our own pockets and shuffle around mumbling to ourselves till we croak!! I got this god-damned disease before I was thirty. I had everything great wife and kids, house great job, money, friends. 10 years later, I am waiting for divorce, I'm virtually bankrupt, living on HELLFARE (not a typo) After 4 suicide attempts, turning 40 in a psyche ward, I am struggling every day to prove I don't belong in an institution.. You know whose to blame. Not PD Not doctors, or my wife. ME. I'm to blame. Parkinson's is a horrible diseased, but right from the start i've done everything wrong. THAT's one of the main things I would tell people. The other thing I can do is say, yes I've lost a lot of things, but look what I've found. With the help of a wonderful brave and talented womam (with PD) and her equally generous and kind husband, I've found a place for God within my life that he has spared many times. I've discovered a joy in writing poetry (for myself) that others seem to enjoy. My friend and I put together an exhibit of her art and my writing and is has beem succesful beyond our wildest dreams. We will sooon be publishing a portfolio of our work to be followwed by a book. There is nothing we pd'rs cant do! But my responses from this group so far don't confirm that , with the exceeption of one wonderful lady in toronto, (Hi Lynda). I'm sorry, if I've offended anyone, a writer writes in my case till he drops. I do have some thoughts and questions about my own pallidotomy, I will share in the future... Bill