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thanks to Marjorie and Chuck. Good point Marjorie...actually an MRI was done on my mom and they decided there was no evidence of strokes. She does has some problems with short term memory, seemingly due to some normal atrophy of the brain in a person her age. She is seeing a wonderful specialist who is doing i believe her best to help her. Yes, Chuck, sometimes i am too close,... in my heart and mind. Actually it is my father who spends everday with her. I live and hour away. I go there and stay when my father goes away, help them get to doctors, etc. I telephone alot but the conversation seems to be less and less about anything besides how she is doing and usually is cut off by her yelling she needs help. To be honest I get afraid and i guess it is the huge mix of emotions involved here. I will keep your advice of thinking of the "person"...i think i actually having been doing something like that in some of the most difficult times and i know what you mean. thanks again. [log in to unmask] california